Here are three tips to approach women:
1- Tease her
When you first meet a woman, tease her about something. Anything. It doesn't matter what it is, just as long as you do it early on to get her attention.
For instance, you might say: "So what's with the big purse? Are you carrying a gun in there?" Or maybe, "Those are some pretty tall shoes, what are you, like, 4' tall without them?" Whatever. The fact is, if you tease a woman right off the bat, it immediately shows that you're not a Wuss, and that you like to have fun. This is huge.
But whatever you do, make sure that what you say is actually funny, or you'll come off looking like a bigger dork than you would have otherwise.
2- Be "cool"
After you start talking to her, look around at other things; try to seem kind of preoccupied. In other words, be cool, loose and relaxed, always making your funny remarks with a totally carefree, detached tone. Basically, you want to sound as comfortable as when you're talking to your best friend. This confident, in-control attitude is very attractive to all women -- especially when it's perfectly combined with humor.
3- Take control
The fastest way to do this is by never asking (or answering) any direct questions. To keep the suspense and intrigue building, let her do all the asking -- and be prepared with answers.
Odds are she'll hit you with something like: "What do you do?" or, "Where do you live?" or even, "Tell me about your family," so have funny answers in your back pocket -- answers that never give her exactly the information she wants.
Most guys say, "Oh, I'm an engineer," or "I'm a stock broker." Boring. This is a total conversation (and attraction) killer.
If she asks what you do, say something like, "Oh, funny you should ask. I'm a Calvin Klein underwear model."
Bottom line: Keep up the mystery, stay confident and, above all, keep her laughing.
11/29/2010
11/25/2010
14 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Happy
Here are the tips that I found to be the most effective. Take some time and read through these to find ideas to keep your relationship happy.
1. Take showers together- it doesn’t have to be sexual! My husband and I have done this from the beginning of our relationship, did it start out sexual? Probably. But over time it became an intimate thing, just extra time that we can spend together catching up on the day- it just happens that we are naked and in the shower!
2. Go to the park and swing, slide or just play-it’s a young and fun thing to do. It keeps you playful and is a great way to relieve stress. Real life can get so with overwhelming with work, kids, bills, laundry, chores- sometimes a play break is what’s needed to alleviate all of that, even if it’s only for half an hour.
3. Take walks-morning walks are a great way to start your day, not a morning person? Take an evening walk. Getting fresh air and exercise together is good for your health and the health of your relationship. Walking relieves stress, keeps you fit and allows quality time to be spent together.
4. Date nights-put everything on hold for an hour or two and plan on just doing something alone with your spouse. It can be dinner, a walk, the mall, whatever, just make the time for just the two of you with no one else around, catch up on your day or week or just joke around and have fun. But making time for just the two of you is important.
5. Play video games or wrestle-a healthy dose of competition is always good and it can be an entertaining way to not only have fun but a great stress buster as well. Just don’t take it too seriously and be a sore loser because that would defeat the whole purpose.
6. Have sex-even if you don’t want to, you need to keep the sexual chemistry between you and your significant other alive. Being intimate and showing your love for one another is a significant part of your union
7. Have time apart-couples don’t need to spend 24/7 together. Spending time away with the girls or the guys makes you appreciate one another. Have your own lives apart from one another. Schedule dinners or mini vacations if you can to keep up with friends.
8. Hold hands- it may seem insignificant; however, this small but intimate gesture shows that you care about each other even when you are doing something simple like walking from the car to the grocery store.
9. Give praise-telling your significant other that they are great at something can be a huge ego boost. It shows that you care and that you pay attention and like the way he/she does something. It's always nice to know that your spouse appreciates the things you do and the way you do them.
10. Be thankful-a simple thank you for taking the trash out, taking the kids to school, fixing that faucet or simply being a great spouse goes a long way. Letting someone know that you are thankful for what they do means a lot.
11. Have time apart-couples don't need to spend 24/7 together. Spending time away with the girls or the guys makes you appreciate one another. Have your own lives apart from one another. Schedule dinners or mini vacations if you can to keep up with friends.
12. Don't always nag-if you start nagging too much you will create resentment. Reminding someone of something a few times is one thing but becoming obnoxious about it will produce hostility and that's not the outcome that you are looking for. Take a different approach, ask nicely, explain what you need done and by when. The nicer you are the better.
13. Share advice-you never know when great, unexpected advice can come about. My husband and I work in two totally different professions yet we manage to swap advice on work all the time. The advice does not have to be work related, it can be about the kids, the chores, money management, it doesn't matter, be open to sharing different ideas.
14. Pick and choose your battles-Over the years I have learned that life is short and arguments are lame. Now I only get mad at things that I feel are truly important. I've learned to pick and choose my battles. Everyone will have that one battle that they choose to fight, just choose it carefully. Just think "is this really worth getting mad about? Will I still be mad about it this tomorrow morning? Will I even remember this next week?" Most of the time the answer is no. I've learned that this approach makes for a healthier and happier relationship and definitely causes less stress.
11/24/2010
How To Write Personal Ads
Put together a description that will attract your type
Writing personal ads should be considered an art in its own right. For decades personal ads have appeared in magazines and newspapers all over the world, and for decades people have struggled to describe themselves in 25 words or less. It is difficult, impossible really, to fully sum up one's essence in just a few lines, including likes, dislikes, interests and goals. These days the top quality dating sites offer more sophisticated personal ads, which are usually called profiles. Unlike the older personal ads in newspapers, modern profiles are detailed and in-depth and often help the user to build his or her description by taking a test or answering a series of questions. Even though describing yourself to a virtual stranger will always be difficult, making a free profile and getting yourself in the dating scene can be done if you follow our advice.
If you want to get the best of your personal ads membership, try to present the right image and get people to interact with you by chatting daily, make note of these 10 personal ad tips:
1. An obvious one - complete your personal ad profile fully. And accurately! There is nothing worse for a browsing member than spending their quality time opening your profile only to find your profile is full of Ask Me statements. So ... Be informative, be complete, be thorough, be interesting.
2. Add a photograph or two or even four! Amazingly, members with photos in their personal ads are likely to get up to 9 times more replies than members without any photo image attached to their profile. Okay, so even if we aren't all photogenic models, any photo is far better than none at all.
3. Don't be aggressive or rude in personal ads. It may be your sense of humor to be sarcastic or cutting, but it doesn't always come across best in anonymous text. Biting humor in the first instance will not usually attract the desired attention, even if it's meant to be amusing. That comes once you are chatting face to face.
You may have had a bad experience with a previous partner, but making a list of specific criteria a future partner must meet usually has the effect of making people look elsewhere. Even if they match! We all seek Mr. and Miss Right, but turning dating into a job interview removes every ounce of romance and passion from the occasion.
4. No matter how you speak in your day-to-day life, don't use swear or curse words in your profile, personal ad, conversations or emails! They are generally offensive and turn people off. Again, swearing is like sarcasm -- people may find your colorful language charming in face-to-face conversations, but without context your cursing may make you seem uneducated or angry.
5. Make your personal ad truthful above all things, but also emphasize your best characteristics. Admitting that you are a loner who has no friends will not win you many admirers, but emphasizing that you are a true individual will. Learning to sell yourself a bit without exaggerating is your best bet.
6. If you really feel passionate about something say so, don't try and hide the things that are important to you. If you love partying say so, if your religion is important to you, say so. Be yourself, and be upfront with who you are.
7. Do not pretend that you are willing to fly half way round the world to meet someone if you are not. It's not fair to anyone including you. If you are really only looking for someone in your state or close to home then stick with that and make it clear.
8. Always try and reply to people's messages and reply in a reasonable amount of time, not weeks later. If you are serious about dating, you are serious about replying to personal messages. Give people the ability to move on to other potential partners if you are not interested. Conversely, don't email someone weeks later and not expect that they haven't written you off!
9. Be positive! The more you project a friendly and positive attitude, the more likely people are going to be attracted to you. Smile in your photo and be inviting in your chats and comments. People who seem bitter, negative or conceited push others away -- people on dating websites are often sensitive to rejection, so who would want to take a chance getting to know someone who may end up being cruel or mean?
10. Be patient, it takes time to find someone special using personal ads but it does work. After all, it's just that one special person that you wish to meet. Sometimes you need to chat to quite a few people first. Know that the missteps and fizzles in chemistry are part of the process. Take your time to complete your personal ads, take your time to chat with many different people, and take your time to get to know someone well. It's all part of moving toward the day when you find that special someone.
Writing personal ads should be considered an art in its own right. For decades personal ads have appeared in magazines and newspapers all over the world, and for decades people have struggled to describe themselves in 25 words or less. It is difficult, impossible really, to fully sum up one's essence in just a few lines, including likes, dislikes, interests and goals. These days the top quality dating sites offer more sophisticated personal ads, which are usually called profiles. Unlike the older personal ads in newspapers, modern profiles are detailed and in-depth and often help the user to build his or her description by taking a test or answering a series of questions. Even though describing yourself to a virtual stranger will always be difficult, making a free profile and getting yourself in the dating scene can be done if you follow our advice.
If you want to get the best of your personal ads membership, try to present the right image and get people to interact with you by chatting daily, make note of these 10 personal ad tips:
1. An obvious one - complete your personal ad profile fully. And accurately! There is nothing worse for a browsing member than spending their quality time opening your profile only to find your profile is full of Ask Me statements. So ... Be informative, be complete, be thorough, be interesting.
2. Add a photograph or two or even four! Amazingly, members with photos in their personal ads are likely to get up to 9 times more replies than members without any photo image attached to their profile. Okay, so even if we aren't all photogenic models, any photo is far better than none at all.
3. Don't be aggressive or rude in personal ads. It may be your sense of humor to be sarcastic or cutting, but it doesn't always come across best in anonymous text. Biting humor in the first instance will not usually attract the desired attention, even if it's meant to be amusing. That comes once you are chatting face to face.
You may have had a bad experience with a previous partner, but making a list of specific criteria a future partner must meet usually has the effect of making people look elsewhere. Even if they match! We all seek Mr. and Miss Right, but turning dating into a job interview removes every ounce of romance and passion from the occasion.
4. No matter how you speak in your day-to-day life, don't use swear or curse words in your profile, personal ad, conversations or emails! They are generally offensive and turn people off. Again, swearing is like sarcasm -- people may find your colorful language charming in face-to-face conversations, but without context your cursing may make you seem uneducated or angry.
5. Make your personal ad truthful above all things, but also emphasize your best characteristics. Admitting that you are a loner who has no friends will not win you many admirers, but emphasizing that you are a true individual will. Learning to sell yourself a bit without exaggerating is your best bet.
6. If you really feel passionate about something say so, don't try and hide the things that are important to you. If you love partying say so, if your religion is important to you, say so. Be yourself, and be upfront with who you are.
7. Do not pretend that you are willing to fly half way round the world to meet someone if you are not. It's not fair to anyone including you. If you are really only looking for someone in your state or close to home then stick with that and make it clear.
8. Always try and reply to people's messages and reply in a reasonable amount of time, not weeks later. If you are serious about dating, you are serious about replying to personal messages. Give people the ability to move on to other potential partners if you are not interested. Conversely, don't email someone weeks later and not expect that they haven't written you off!
9. Be positive! The more you project a friendly and positive attitude, the more likely people are going to be attracted to you. Smile in your photo and be inviting in your chats and comments. People who seem bitter, negative or conceited push others away -- people on dating websites are often sensitive to rejection, so who would want to take a chance getting to know someone who may end up being cruel or mean?
10. Be patient, it takes time to find someone special using personal ads but it does work. After all, it's just that one special person that you wish to meet. Sometimes you need to chat to quite a few people first. Know that the missteps and fizzles in chemistry are part of the process. Take your time to complete your personal ads, take your time to chat with many different people, and take your time to get to know someone well. It's all part of moving toward the day when you find that special someone.
11/22/2010
What to buy your sweetheart for Christmas
Coming up with the perfect Christmas present for your significant other can be daunting, especially when you've been dating such a short time that you're not quite familiar with the eccentricities of his or her music taste but you still want to impress with an unexpectedly thoughtful and insightful gift that will buy you a few more weeks, at least.
Flowers and chocolates, a la Valentine's Day, are very sweet, but they pretty much prove you don't know your honey at all, unless she's super into exotic buds or something. If you don't happen to be dating a horticulturist, don't go this route. Here's a quick-and-dirty list of our top picks for new couples:
A book -- Unless your lover is an English major, you probably can't go wrong with a classic that has something to do with romance. Go with "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" or "Love in Time of Cholera." It gives you the perfect chance to hint at your deeper, tortured, artistic side, and you get to write a sappy inscription. (Hint: If you haven't read the book, stay away from comparing you and your sweetie to the characters. Fiction authors are not to be trusted with your relationship.)
A soulful hits compilation -- Even if it's not his style, no one is going to balk at a sexy collection of slow-danceable love songs (at least not to your face). It gives the two of you a chance to get close, and if the cheese factor is over the top, y'all can laugh about it together and then put on something good.
Massage oil -- Ok, you might want to be careful with this one, but if you play your cards right, it’s a great gift. If you're ready to take things to the next level, it implies that it's time to get physical. If you're not, this present can come off as a little presumptuous, but you can always backtrack and offer up a neck-and-shoulder massage to smooth things over.
No matter what gift you go with, the fact that you're putting some effort into it bodes well for the future of your union. Don't be afraid to dive in and find something your new love will really like -- just take our advice and stay away from gift cards!
Flowers and chocolates, a la Valentine's Day, are very sweet, but they pretty much prove you don't know your honey at all, unless she's super into exotic buds or something. If you don't happen to be dating a horticulturist, don't go this route. Here's a quick-and-dirty list of our top picks for new couples:
A book -- Unless your lover is an English major, you probably can't go wrong with a classic that has something to do with romance. Go with "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" or "Love in Time of Cholera." It gives you the perfect chance to hint at your deeper, tortured, artistic side, and you get to write a sappy inscription. (Hint: If you haven't read the book, stay away from comparing you and your sweetie to the characters. Fiction authors are not to be trusted with your relationship.)
A soulful hits compilation -- Even if it's not his style, no one is going to balk at a sexy collection of slow-danceable love songs (at least not to your face). It gives the two of you a chance to get close, and if the cheese factor is over the top, y'all can laugh about it together and then put on something good.
Massage oil -- Ok, you might want to be careful with this one, but if you play your cards right, it’s a great gift. If you're ready to take things to the next level, it implies that it's time to get physical. If you're not, this present can come off as a little presumptuous, but you can always backtrack and offer up a neck-and-shoulder massage to smooth things over.
No matter what gift you go with, the fact that you're putting some effort into it bodes well for the future of your union. Don't be afraid to dive in and find something your new love will really like -- just take our advice and stay away from gift cards!
11/19/2010
The Two Pivotal Things You Need To Get Right When Dating Guys
The first date with a guy is actually set up the first time you meet him.
What I mean by this is that in your early conversations you want to be creating all kinds of different opportunities that makes it easier to suggest a date later on. For example, you drop a hint: “I haven’t been to the zoo in ages. I really want to go!” This makes it easy for him or you to bring it up later, instead of it sounding strange and out of the blue.
A. Contacting him
Some women are terrified of ever contacting a guy first; but it’s okay to initiate things. Just don’t overwhelm someone with essay-long texts everyday.
No more bland texts e.g. “Hey, I’m so bored, what u up to?”
- This is dull and value seeking. Better to tell him something interesting you found out related to a conversation you had earlier, or just send him a one off text about a place you talked about.
Don’t be afraid to send texts that just make statements
e.g. “I just realized who you remind me of…” then tell him anyone you like, as long as you can relate it to his personality or looks (even if it’s a Harry Potter character, or an actor, or a cartoon character). Texts like this build intrigue without saying too much.
So if he asks you why he reminds you of that person, you can just say something like “Because of his cheeky smile”.
Use texts to arrange quick dates
- Remember, you can arrange low-pressure dates on your terms e.g. “Hey, I’m gonna go check out (x) today with some friends. You should come along if you’re about…. x”. If he can’t make it, he’ll re-arrange to do something else.
B. The first date and beyond
A couple of quick rules for first dates: No more talking about insecurities/past relationships
Think “why” instead of “what”
- In other words, go into more interesting areas of conversation. If he has a piercing, ask him why he got it. If he tells you he likes tennis, ask him if it’s because he prefers solo sports rather than team games. Ask him about his dream job and why he would love to do it.
Future, not past
- The more excitedly you talk about your future and plans; the more he’s going to want to be a part of that future.
Get him talking about what he really loves
- Get into each other’s passions. It will make for much more exciting conversation and he’ll feel closer to you afterwards.
What I mean by this is that in your early conversations you want to be creating all kinds of different opportunities that makes it easier to suggest a date later on. For example, you drop a hint: “I haven’t been to the zoo in ages. I really want to go!” This makes it easy for him or you to bring it up later, instead of it sounding strange and out of the blue.
A. Contacting him
Some women are terrified of ever contacting a guy first; but it’s okay to initiate things. Just don’t overwhelm someone with essay-long texts everyday.
No more bland texts e.g. “Hey, I’m so bored, what u up to?”
- This is dull and value seeking. Better to tell him something interesting you found out related to a conversation you had earlier, or just send him a one off text about a place you talked about.
Don’t be afraid to send texts that just make statements
e.g. “I just realized who you remind me of…” then tell him anyone you like, as long as you can relate it to his personality or looks (even if it’s a Harry Potter character, or an actor, or a cartoon character). Texts like this build intrigue without saying too much.
So if he asks you why he reminds you of that person, you can just say something like “Because of his cheeky smile”.
Use texts to arrange quick dates
- Remember, you can arrange low-pressure dates on your terms e.g. “Hey, I’m gonna go check out (x) today with some friends. You should come along if you’re about…. x”. If he can’t make it, he’ll re-arrange to do something else.
B. The first date and beyond
A couple of quick rules for first dates: No more talking about insecurities/past relationships
Think “why” instead of “what”
- In other words, go into more interesting areas of conversation. If he has a piercing, ask him why he got it. If he tells you he likes tennis, ask him if it’s because he prefers solo sports rather than team games. Ask him about his dream job and why he would love to do it.
Future, not past
- The more excitedly you talk about your future and plans; the more he’s going to want to be a part of that future.
Get him talking about what he really loves
- Get into each other’s passions. It will make for much more exciting conversation and he’ll feel closer to you afterwards.
11/18/2010
Dating a best friends ex?
In the dating world, there are several rules that aren't discussed openly. Whether or not you can date your best friend's ex falls into this category of tricky dating questions.
If there were a black and white answer, it would be no. However, there are unique circumstances where it may be okay to date your best friend's ex. They are:
- Your best friend has said clearly, "I don't care if you date my ex," and you truly believe they meant it.
- You asked your best friend if it was okay for you to date their ex, and they replied in the affirmative.
- Their history as ex boyfriend and/or girlfriend is now longer than their actual relationship.
- Your best friend is dating someone else seriously and it's obvious they are over the ex in question.
If there were a black and white answer, it would be no. However, there are unique circumstances where it may be okay to date your best friend's ex. They are:
- Your best friend has said clearly, "I don't care if you date my ex," and you truly believe they meant it.
- You asked your best friend if it was okay for you to date their ex, and they replied in the affirmative.
- Their history as ex boyfriend and/or girlfriend is now longer than their actual relationship.
- Your best friend is dating someone else seriously and it's obvious they are over the ex in question.
11/17/2010
Things never to tell your girlfriend
Open & Honest Is Not Always the KeyWhen you are dating someone it is easy to become very comfortable with being around them. However, it is a little too easy to become a little too comfortable. Once this happens, a guy will start saying or doing things that will turn the slightest wrong words into the biggest argument. Because relationships are based on more than just words, and honesty is as important as trust, being too honest can be a man’s biggest downfall.
Just because you are in love, it does not mean that you can just come out and say the first thing that is on your mind. You still have to filter your words, no matter what she says about being honest. There are just some things that you must lie about to keep the peace with your girlfriend, if you ever expect her to become your wife.
The Weight Issue
It is no secret that when two people become comfortable within a relationship that they start gaining weight. Nevertheless, it does not mean you should tell her that you have noticed. In addition, never tell her that she is getting fat. Never tell her that you think she looks like she might be gaining any kind of weight. This could throw her into an unstable emotional state.
Think about this… Guys look at thin women, right? Well, if you talk to her about the weight she is gaining, it might make her think you don’t want to look at her anymore. She will see in her mind that you look at all these perfect women but are telling her she is gaining weight. How do you think it will make her feel?
Forget Your Mother…
…So to speak. Never, ever get into a position to have to say that your mother would have done something different, let alone better. While being a “Mama’s boy” is acceptable these days, it is still too much to tell your girlfriend that your mother is constantly on your mind, let alone how she would do something. This tells your girlfriend that you are thinking about your mother when you should be thinking of her instead. Feel free to make suggestions about doing something a specific way, but do not, under any circumstances, tell her it was your mother’s way of doing things.
Never Criticize
No matter how bad she might mess something up, never criticize her for messing it up. If you are in a situation where something needs to be said, do so but do it in a way that will show her you are just “suggesting’ she do it. Not only will she see you trying to be helpful, but she will not see you not appreciating her.
Keep Family Secrets
Just because your family does not like her or doesn’t get along with her, it doesn’t mean you are obligated to let your girlfriend know. Some family secrets are meant to be kept a secret. Most often is the case that a family might not like your girlfriend at first because they feel she is taking you away from them. However, if the relationship continues long enough, she will grow on them. So is it really necessary to make her feel so insecure about your family needlessly? I didn’t think so.
Just because a relationship is supposed to be open and honest doesn’t mean that a little bit if secrecy will kill it. There are some things that are better off kept as secrets, lest you want a relationship filled with insecurity, doubt and trust issues. If you can keep your lips sealed at the right time, every time then you are sure to have a happy life together.
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