Dating For The Masses

3 Tips For Approaching Women

2010-11-29T13:05:00.001+01:00

Here are three tips to approach women:

1- Tease her
When you first meet a woman, tease her about something. Anything. It doesn't matter what it is, just as long as you do it early on to get her attention.

For instance, you might say: "So what's with the big purse? Are you carrying a gun in there?" Or maybe, "Those are some pretty tall shoes, what are you, like, 4' tall without them?" Whatever. The fact is, if you tease a woman right off the bat, it immediately shows that you're not a Wuss, and that you like to have fun. This is huge.

But whatever you do, make sure that what you say is actually funny, or you'll come off looking like a bigger dork than you would have otherwise.

2- Be "cool"
After you start talking to her, look around at other things; try to seem kind of preoccupied. In other words, be cool, loose and relaxed, always making your funny remarks with a totally carefree, detached tone. Basically, you want to sound as comfortable as when you're talking to your best friend. This confident, in-control attitude is very attractive to all women -- especially when it's perfectly combined with humor.

3- Take control
The fastest way to do this is by never asking (or answering) any direct questions. To keep the suspense and intrigue building, let her do all the asking -- and be prepared with answers.

Odds are she'll hit you with something like: "What do you do?" or, "Where do you live?" or even, "Tell me about your family," so have funny answers in your back pocket -- answers that never give her exactly the information she wants.

Most guys say, "Oh, I'm an engineer," or "I'm a stock broker." Boring. This is a total conversation (and attraction) killer.
If she asks what you do, say something like, "Oh, funny you should ask. I'm a Calvin Klein underwear model."

Bottom line: Keep up the mystery, stay confident and, above all, keep her laughing.

14 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Happy

2010-11-25T04:36:00.003+01:00

Here are the tips that I found to be the most effective. Take some time and read through these to find ideas to keep your relationship happy.

1. Take showers together- it doesn’t have to be sexual! My husband and I have done this from the beginning of our relationship, did it start out sexual? Probably. But over time it became an intimate thing, just extra time that we can spend together catching up on the day- it just happens that we are naked and in the shower!

2. Go to the park and swing, slide or just play-it’s a young and fun thing to do. It keeps you playful and is a great way to relieve stress. Real life can get so with overwhelming with work, kids, bills, laundry, chores- sometimes a play break is what’s needed to alleviate all of that, even if it’s only for half an hour.

3. Take walks-morning walks are a great way to start your day, not a morning person? Take an evening walk. Getting fresh air and exercise together is good for your health and the health of your relationship. Walking relieves stress, keeps you fit and allows quality time to be spent together.

4. Date nights-put everything on hold for an hour or two and plan on just doing something alone with your spouse. It can be dinner, a walk, the mall, whatever, just make the time for just the two of you with no one else around, catch up on your day or week or just joke around and have fun. But making time for just the two of you is important.

5. Play video games or wrestle-a healthy dose of competition is always good and it can be an entertaining way to not only have fun but a great stress buster as well. Just don’t take it too seriously and be a sore loser because that would defeat the whole purpose.

6. Have sex-even if you don’t want to, you need to keep the sexual chemistry between you and your significant other alive. Being intimate and showing your love for one another is a significant part of your union

7. Have time apart-couples don’t need to spend 24/7 together. Spending time away with the girls or the guys makes you appreciate one another. Have your own lives apart from one another. Schedule dinners or mini vacations if you can to keep up with friends.

8. Hold hands- it may seem insignificant; however, this small but intimate gesture shows that you care about each other even when you are doing something simple like walking from the car to the grocery store.

9. Give praise-telling your significant other that they are great at something can be a huge ego boost. It shows that you care and that you pay attention and like the way he/she does something. It's always nice to know that your spouse appreciates the things you do and the way you do them.

10. Be thankful-a simple thank you for taking the trash out, taking the kids to school, fixing that faucet or simply being a great spouse goes a long way. Letting someone know that you are thankful for what they do means a lot.

11. Have time apart-couples don't need to spend 24/7 together. Spending time away with the girls or the guys makes you appreciate one another. Have your own lives apart from one another. Schedule dinners or mini vacations if you can to keep up with friends.

12. Don't always nag-if you start nagging too much you will create resentment. Reminding someone of something a few times is one thing but becoming obnoxious about it will produce hostility and that's not the outcome that you are looking for. Take a different approach, ask nicely, explain what you need done and by when. The nicer you are the better.

13. Share advice-you never know when great, unexpected advice can come about. My husband and I work in two totally different professions yet we manage to swap advice on work all the time. The advice does not have to be work related, it can be about the kids, the chores, money management, it doesn't matter, be open to sharing different ideas.

14. Pick and choose your battles-Over the years I have learned that life is short and arguments are lame. Now I only get mad at things that I feel are truly important. I've learned to pick and choose my battles. Everyone will have that one battle that they choose to fight, just choose it carefully. Just think "is this really worth getting mad about? Will I still be mad about it this tomorrow morning? Will I even remember this next week?" Most of the time the answer is no. I've learned that this approach makes for a healthier and happier relationship and definitely causes less stress.

How To Write Personal Ads

2010-11-24T03:15:00.002+01:00

Put together a description that will attract your type

Writing personal ads should be considered an art in its own right. For decades personal ads have appeared in magazines and newspapers all over the world, and for decades people have struggled to describe themselves in 25 words or less. It is difficult, impossible really, to fully sum up one's essence in just a few lines, including likes, dislikes, interests and goals. These days the top quality dating sites offer more sophisticated personal ads, which are usually called profiles. Unlike the older personal ads in newspapers, modern profiles are detailed and in-depth and often help the user to build his or her description by taking a test or answering a series of questions. Even though describing yourself to a virtual stranger will always be difficult, making a free profile and getting yourself in the dating scene can be done if you follow our advice.

If you want to get the best of your personal ads membership, try to present the right image and get people to interact with you by chatting daily, make note of these 10 personal ad tips:

1. An obvious one - complete your personal ad profile fully. And accurately! There is nothing worse for a browsing member than spending their quality time opening your profile only to find your profile is full of Ask Me statements. So ... Be informative, be complete, be thorough, be interesting.

2. Add a photograph or two or even four! Amazingly, members with photos in their personal ads are likely to get up to 9 times more replies than members without any photo image attached to their profile. Okay, so even if we aren't all photogenic models, any photo is far better than none at all.

3. Don't be aggressive or rude in personal ads. It may be your sense of humor to be sarcastic or cutting, but it doesn't always come across best in anonymous text. Biting humor in the first instance will not usually attract the desired attention, even if it's meant to be amusing. That comes once you are chatting face to face.
You may have had a bad experience with a previous partner, but making a list of specific criteria a future partner must meet usually has the effect of making people look elsewhere. Even if they match! We all seek Mr. and Miss Right, but turning dating into a job interview removes every ounce of romance and passion from the occasion.

4. No matter how you speak in your day-to-day life, don't use swear or curse words in your profile, personal ad, conversations or emails! They are generally offensive and turn people off. Again, swearing is like sarcasm -- people may find your colorful language charming in face-to-face conversations, but without context your cursing may make you seem uneducated or angry.

5. Make your personal ad truthful above all things, but also emphasize your best characteristics. Admitting that you are a loner who has no friends will not win you many admirers, but emphasizing that you are a true individual will. Learning to sell yourself a bit without exaggerating is your best bet.

6. If you really feel passionate about something say so, don't try and hide the things that are important to you. If you love partying say so, if your religion is important to you, say so. Be yourself, and be upfront with who you are.

7. Do not pretend that you are willing to fly half way round the world to meet someone if you are not. It's not fair to anyone including you. If you are really only looking for someone in your state or close to home then stick with that and make it clear.

8. Always try and reply to people's messages and reply in a reasonable amount of time, not weeks later. If you are serious about dating, you are serious about replying to personal messages. Give people the ability to move on to other potential partners if you are not interested. Conversely, don't email someone weeks later and not expect that they haven't written you off!

9. Be positive! The more you project a friendly and positive attitude, the more likely people are going to be attracted to you. Smile in your photo and be inviting in your chats and comments. People who seem bitter, negative or conceited push others away -- people on dating websites are often sensitive to rejection, so who would want to take a chance getting to know someone who may end up being cruel or mean?

10. Be patient, it takes time to find someone special using personal ads but it does work. After all, it's just that one special person that you wish to meet. Sometimes you need to chat to quite a few people first. Know that the missteps and fizzles in chemistry are part of the process. Take your time to complete your personal ads, take your time to chat with many different people, and take your time to get to know someone well. It's all part of moving toward the day when you find that special someone.

What to buy your sweetheart for Christmas

2010-11-22T05:22:00.000+01:00

Coming up with the perfect Christmas present for your significant other can be daunting, especially when you've been dating such a short time that you're not quite familiar with the eccentricities of his or her music taste but you still want to impress with an unexpectedly thoughtful and insightful gift that will buy you a few more weeks, at least.

Flowers and chocolates, a la Valentine's Day, are very sweet, but they pretty much prove you don't know your honey at all, unless she's super into exotic buds or something. If you don't happen to be dating a horticulturist, don't go this route. Here's a quick-and-dirty list of our top picks for new couples:

A book -- Unless your lover is an English major, you probably can't go wrong with a classic that has something to do with romance. Go with "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" or "Love in Time of Cholera." It gives you the perfect chance to hint at your deeper, tortured, artistic side, and you get to write a sappy inscription. (Hint: If you haven't read the book, stay away from comparing you and your sweetie to the characters. Fiction authors are not to be trusted with your relationship.)

A soulful hits compilation -- Even if it's not his style, no one is going to balk at a sexy collection of slow-danceable love songs (at least not to your face). It gives the two of you a chance to get close, and if the cheese factor is over the top, y'all can laugh about it together and then put on something good.

Massage oil -- Ok, you might want to be careful with this one, but if you play your cards right, it’s a great gift. If you're ready to take things to the next level, it implies that it's time to get physical. If you're not, this present can come off as a little presumptuous, but you can always backtrack and offer up a neck-and-shoulder massage to smooth things over.

No matter what gift you go with, the fact that you're putting some effort into it bodes well for the future of your union. Don't be afraid to dive in and find something your new love will really like -- just take our advice and stay away from gift cards!

The Two Pivotal Things You Need To Get Right When Dating Guys

2010-11-19T02:35:00.002+01:00

The first date with a guy is actually set up the first time you meet him.
What I mean by this is that in your early conversations you want to be creating all kinds of different opportunities that makes it easier to suggest a date later on. For example, you drop a hint: “I haven’t been to the zoo in ages. I really want to go!” This makes it easy for him or you to bring it up later, instead of it sounding strange and out of the blue.

A. Contacting him

Some women are terrified of ever contacting a guy first; but it’s okay to initiate things. Just don’t overwhelm someone with essay-long texts everyday.

No more bland texts e.g. “Hey, I’m so bored, what u up to?”
- This is dull and value seeking. Better to tell him something interesting you found out related to a conversation you had earlier, or just send him a one off text about a place you talked about.

Don’t be afraid to send texts that just make statements
e.g. “I just realized who you remind me of…” then tell him anyone you like, as long as you can relate it to his personality or looks (even if it’s a Harry Potter character, or an actor, or a cartoon character). Texts like this build intrigue without saying too much.
So if he asks you why he reminds you of that person, you can just say something like “Because of his cheeky smile”.

Use texts to arrange quick dates
- Remember, you can arrange low-pressure dates on your terms e.g. “Hey, I’m gonna go check out (x) today with some friends. You should come along if you’re about…. x”. If he can’t make it, he’ll re-arrange to do something else.

B. The first date and beyond

A couple of quick rules for first dates: No more talking about insecurities/past relationships

Think “why” instead of “what”
- In other words, go into more interesting areas of conversation. If he has a piercing, ask him why he got it. If he tells you he likes tennis, ask him if it’s because he prefers solo sports rather than team games. Ask him about his dream job and why he would love to do it.

Future, not past
- The more excitedly you talk about your future and plans; the more he’s going to want to be a part of that future.

Get him talking about what he really loves
- Get into each other’s passions. It will make for much more exciting conversation and he’ll feel closer to you afterwards.

Dating a best friends ex?

2010-11-18T01:29:00.001+01:00

In the dating world, there are several rules that aren't discussed openly. Whether or not you can date your best friend's ex falls into this category of tricky dating questions.

If there were a black and white answer, it would be no. However, there are unique circumstances where it may be okay to date your best friend's ex. They are:

- Your best friend has said clearly, "I don't care if you date my ex," and you truly believe they meant it.

- You asked your best friend if it was okay for you to date their ex, and they replied in the affirmative.

- Their history as ex boyfriend and/or girlfriend is now longer than their actual relationship.

- Your best friend is dating someone else seriously and it's obvious they are over the ex in question.

Things never to tell your girlfriend

2010-11-17T03:06:00.002+01:00

Open & Honest Is Not Always the Key
When you are dating someone it is easy to become very comfortable with being around them. However, it is a little too easy to become a little too comfortable. Once this happens, a guy will start saying or doing things that will turn the slightest wrong words into the biggest argument. Because relationships are based on more than just words, and honesty is as important as trust, being too honest can be a man’s biggest downfall.

Just because you are in love, it does not mean that you can just come out and say the first thing that is on your mind. You still have to filter your words, no matter what she says about being honest. There are just some things that you must lie about to keep the peace with your girlfriend, if you ever expect her to become your wife.

The Weight Issue
It is no secret that when two people become comfortable within a relationship that they start gaining weight. Nevertheless, it does not mean you should tell her that you have noticed. In addition, never tell her that she is getting fat. Never tell her that you think she looks like she might be gaining any kind of weight. This could throw her into an unstable emotional state.

Think about this… Guys look at thin women, right? Well, if you talk to her about the weight she is gaining, it might make her think you don’t want to look at her anymore. She will see in her mind that you look at all these perfect women but are telling her she is gaining weight. How do you think it will make her feel?

Forget Your Mother…
…So to speak. Never, ever get into a position to have to say that your mother would have done something different, let alone better. While being a “Mama’s boy” is acceptable these days, it is still too much to tell your girlfriend that your mother is constantly on your mind, let alone how she would do something. This tells your girlfriend that you are thinking about your mother when you should be thinking of her instead. Feel free to make suggestions about doing something a specific way, but do not, under any circumstances, tell her it was your mother’s way of doing things.

Never Criticize
No matter how bad she might mess something up, never criticize her for messing it up. If you are in a situation where something needs to be said, do so but do it in a way that will show her you are just “suggesting’ she do it. Not only will she see you trying to be helpful, but she will not see you not appreciating her.

Keep Family Secrets
Just because your family does not like her or doesn’t get along with her, it doesn’t mean you are obligated to let your girlfriend know. Some family secrets are meant to be kept a secret. Most often is the case that a family might not like your girlfriend at first because they feel she is taking you away from them. However, if the relationship continues long enough, she will grow on them. So is it really necessary to make her feel so insecure about your family needlessly? I didn’t think so.

Just because a relationship is supposed to be open and honest doesn’t mean that a little bit if secrecy will kill it. There are some things that are better off kept as secrets, lest you want a relationship filled with insecurity, doubt and trust issues. If you can keep your lips sealed at the right time, every time then you are sure to have a happy life together.

Online dating rules to live by: It’s never personal

2010-11-16T02:13:00.000+01:00

That headline seems ridiculous, right? I mean, what is dating if not extremely, completely, horrendously, desperately personal? How can you go about searching for the one person that makes your heart feel whole without getting at least a little bit personal?

It seems weird, but when it comes to looking for love online, you need to remember that it's not about you -- at least not for awhile. Most of us who've dipped even a toe into the tepid waters of online dating have felt at certain times that maybe we're just not made for computer-based romance. We're not photogenic enough or we just can't write; our icebreakers keep getting rejected and our winks are never returned.

If you happen to be one of the thousands who isn't having success on the dating sites, you should definitely consider tweaking your profile and having a friend take some pictures that show off your good side. But once you've done that, you need to keep in mind that your digital dry spell is probably temporary. Anyone who's tried out one of the many dating sites knows that luck tends to ebb and flow like the member pool. But most importantly, when someone flakes out on you or makes it clear that they don't share your feelings of attraction, you need to not take it personally.

The truth is, you can't possibly know why that girl isn't interested. Maybe you she hates dogs and you have a boxer. Maybe she's intimidated by your intellectual prowess and professional success. Or maybe she just met someone and wants to see where it goes. No matter what, it ultimately has very little to do with you. And while we're all tempted to decide that it's our massive forehead and clown-like ears, the more likely scenario is that she had something else going on ... or she just wasn't your type anyway.

Signs that You Are Going to Break Up Soon

2010-11-15T06:58:00.002+01:00

We’ve compiled a list of signs that are strong indicators that something in your relationship doesn’t go right.

1. Noticeable change in your partner’s behavior towards you
You can probably feel this when your partner’s behavior has changed. For example, does your partner make eye contact when speaking to you? Does he seem to be distant? How does she act when you meet?

2. Me, Me, Me
When speaking about the two of you, does he use the word “I” instead of “We” often enough? This is one of the mental indicators that he’s not too interested in you and your relationship. People in this case tend to focus on themselves most of the time and start acting too egoistic. If you start feeling that his problems are much more valuable for him than anything else, it’s a warn sign. Probably he’s already made up his mind about the future of your relationship.

3. “I don’t like the way you’re dressed”
Have you heard of any guy in a relationship who will normally say that you should lose a few pounds or that you have no taste in what to wear? Yes, maybe there is one or two but after saying this you can easily indicate that he doesn’t value your relationship. Or, is it the case when he doesn’t show any interest in how you look like? These two opposite sides are the signs that he can be no longer interested in you.

4.I’m a busy guy
In the modern world people are usually busier than they used to be a few years ago. But at the same time this can’t be an excuse if he’s not showing up for long time because “he’s too busy”. And other means of communication like cells, e-mails etc aren’t an excuse. You need to know though, whether he’s really so busy with his job or if he’s hanging out with his friends or spending time on a hobby. All this will make him busy but you’ll easily find out how much interest does he have about you if you find out what he’s really doing.

5. James Bond
Have you ever asked your boyfriend if he works for the CIA? Does he ignore phone calls from other people when you spend time together? Or does he hide his e-mails or close the browser on laptop when you come by? Or has a contact list on his cell full of female names and doesn’t want to explain you who they are? Or doesn’t want to leave open his account on Facebook? Don’t be too suspicious though, or you’ll look like Sherlock Holmes which is also not good.

6. Quarelling
Quarrels are common to almost all relationships. However if you start noticing that the number of fights between the two of you has increased and they’re happening because of trivial matters, this can be a sign that your partner wants to end your relationship. Nobody likes to quarrel, unless there is a need to do so.

7. Sex
This point is arguable and probably depends much on a person but still. When you get into a serious relationship with a person you’ve got feelings to, the sex is usually fantastic. When time passes, the emotional level lowers and it can sometimes happen that one of you is not up to it then. But when you feel that your partner doesn’t have any intention to have sex with you or is indifferent in bed, that’s a huge sign that your relationship comes to an end.

8. Silence
Did it happen earlier, when you started dating, that you can speak hours on anything and could always find a theme to speak on. Does it now look like your partner doesn’t want to share anything with you and only answers on direct questions and just in a few words? Did he use to tell you funny jokes which he now never does? You can answer these questions by simply asking your partner some questions that you know for sure present great interest to him and he used to speak a lot on them.

9. Back to the future
Do you speak about your future plans? Say, like, about start living together or about possible future marriage or just about future holidays. Try to ask your partner about future event you’d like to go to, or plan a day off together and watch the reaction. Does he/she easily agree to your plans or are they constantly postponing the decision until it gets too late?

10. “I need to be alone for some time”
Needless to say more. It’s such a HUGE sign that everything is either already over or will be over soon. Some people get too blinded by affection or love to the person that they can’t understand what this statement really means, when it’s almost shouting to you: “It’s over!” Maybe, the situation is yet not that poor and you can bring the good old times back, but bear in mind that this phrase means that your partner doesn’t like this relationship and already has plans to end it.

That’s it. Never underestimate the power of signs your partner shows in your relationship.

Tips for Finding A Date

2010-11-14T04:21:00.003+01:00

"Find a date," your friends say. "Join us for dinner, and bring a date!" This alone is enough to cause many single people to immediately start to panic. The reality is that, if you're looking for dates, you probably just want to find someone special to spend time with, without regard for your pushy friends and their need for additional couples to complete their circle. It's important to think of looking for dates as part of life, part of your everyday routine. You never know -- one of these days it may well turn into something more than just a date.

Finding a date is never easy, but it can be relatively painless, depending on your attitude.

Maybe have a hard time meeting people. Maybe you have a hard time meeting people who are suitable for dating. Maybe you're a single parent with responsibilities at home, or someone who works from home. Perhaps you work strange hours and that's why you never meet anyone to date. Maybe you work with people much younger or older, or perhaps you really don't have finely honed social skills. It could be that you're shy, private, quiet in groups or just unwilling to make the first move.

Whatever the situation, you need to take action! The first thing to do is make sure you exude self confidence. You want to find a date you'll have a great time with, so it helps to make him or her feel special by looking good. Here are some tips on how to accomplish this:

- Give yourself a makeover
- Buy some new clothes and update your image
- Get a new haircut or hairstyle
- Get a full beauty treatment and makeover
- Visit your dentist and get those teeth pearly white
- Get a tan and freshen your skin
- Try out the latest styles and fashions
- Treat yourself to a rejuvenating vacation or break
- Read some new magazines and go shopping
- Join a health club and get into a new workout routine
- Go on a diet and lose a few pounds, if needed
- Take martial arts or self defense classes
- Improve your attitude

The next thing you need to do to find a date is think long and hard about what you really want to achieve and what your expectations are. Get clear about what kind of person you're looking for, although don't be too specific. Keeping your aim as broad as you can will make finding a date easier. You also need to be realistic. Don't make it your goal to date a Hollywood movie star if it's not likely to happen. Keep your feet on the ground and take a long, hard look at your own life before walking into someone else's.

Once you've got that part down, here are a few ways to get started:

Dating Close to Home
Begin by looking in your own neighborhood. Is there anyone in your neighborhood or friend group who is single and awesome? Often, people stay single simply because they aren't being asked out by anyone, not because they themselves are lonely. It's time to do the asking. And yes, that includes the good-looking people in this world. There are lots of local clubs and activity centers where singles are likely to congregate. These are often the best place to introduce yourself to people of the opposite sex in your community. Try to choose something that involves both sexes.

Dating at Work
Some sources claim that 87% of couples first met through work or began dating at work. In general, dating at work or dating someone within your own office environment is generally not a good idea due to the possibilities for problems and the negative implications it can have on your career. Relationship tensions within an office can cause issues with other workers and antagonize work-related disputes.

However, the good news is, most organizations also work with other firms. If your office gets together to socialize with business partners or groups of people you don't work with directly, start going to these events. Try going with coworkers to happy hour or attending after-work social events, too, from bowling to trips to bars and comedy clubs. It's as much about making new friends as it is about finding a date.

If you really don't like your coworkers (or don't have any because, for example, you work from home), you'll need to look for other ways to extend your social circle.

Get Physical
That's right, join a gym. To find a date, you should look your best. After all, if you've set your sights high, doesn't your potential date deserve the best, too? Good, so get down to the local health club and look into a regular workout routine. If already do this, expand your horizons and make sure you're not going to a unisex gym. Try other sports and activities -- from yachting to running to baseball to anything else you haven't tried before. You will make fabulous new friends, as well as possibly finding a date, not to mention feeling and looking much better than if you just sat on the couch munching on potato chips.

Ask Your Friends
The most common complaint among people in their late '20s and '30s is that all their friends are married. If this is true for you, it's time to adapt. As awesome as they might be, your married friends probably will not help you find a date. They tell you they'll try, and they probably mean it, but like attracts like, and there's a good chance most of their friends are married, too. In general, you should not look to any friends to help you find a date, though, because your friends don't necessarily know what kind of person you're looking for. The best advice is to take control and find a date yourself.

This is why you need some single friends. Newsflash: Dating is easier if you hang out with other singles who are also playing the dating game. Even if your married friends are your best buddies in the whole wide world, you need support from other people who know what you're going through. Also, there is safety in large groups. This can also open up new places and venues for you to visit and look for potential dates. You will probably see your confidence level jump as well.

You can find new single friends everywhere: at work, in your neighborhood, at clubs, in your gym … You simply need to make some new friends, then join in. It's not nearly as hard as you think. One thing's for sure: Neither your fantastic new friends, nor your super hot new girlfriend or boyfriend is hiding out in your closet. If you sit at home, you will not find them -- you have to go out and put yourself out there in order to do it. In fact, get started right now. When was the last time you called up your old friends to catch up? Do it now.

Join a Club
Activities really do bring people together and help you make new friends. If you're involved in something like a craft, hobby or sport, then you've already taken the first step toward hanging out with (and possibly dating) like-minded individuals. You have something in common, and it's a great icebreaker. If you're not a member of any club, figure out what you're interested in and decide whether joining a group of some sort centered around this activity might introduce you to others. (Hint: It will!) Always remember: Statistically, there is a good chance that many people just like you are also looking for dates and are joining clubs like these for this very same reason.

Signing up for a Dating Agency
Dating agencies were once associated with embarrassing social stigmas, but not anymore. These days, it's extremely trendy to use an agency to find dates. Dating and finding a date is fun and enjoyable. After all, dating is really just about meeting new people and searching for a special connection. Dating agencies fall into two categories: traditional and Web-based. The first are those traditional dating agencies that help you find a date but charge hundreds of dollars to offer you the chance to meet a few people in their database they have matched you with. They then offer you the chance to meet, if both parties are interested. It's slow and long-winded, but it can work sometimes, although rarely are there guarantees of any kind. The main thing about such dating agencies is that they often specialize in a certain area -- maybe profession or financial, etc. Some may concentrate on the medical or legal profession; others may focus on, say, executives in a certain region.

Internet Dating Sites
The second kind of agency is the professional Internet dating and friendship sites accessible from your home computer. Most often, they are free to sign up for, so you can set up a profile and see who's in their database to find out if you're interested in that kind of people. The beauty of Internet dating is that it makes everyone on any given site instantly accessible, and you can search for people you match with in comfort of your own home without spending a dime. Sniff around, check out people's pics and profiles and take your time finding a date.

It's super important when you're looking for a date to choose a reputable Internet dating site that will provide you with not only personal ads but also a safe and secure environment, as well as advice and articles to help you get ahead. These sites let you communicate anonymously with your matches when you're ready to make contact via on-site email, chat rooms and private instant messaging. Some companies even include voicemail services so you can listen to your prospective date's voice before meeting them.

After paying a small fee, you can communicate with as many members as you like, safely and securely -- and, very soon, you may find that you have arranged not just one but many dates. It's up to you. No more standing in singles bars, being hit on by obnoxious strangers or brainstorming opening lines -- just convenient and relaxed dating, whenever you want!

If you're looking for dates, you should start immediately. It's not always easy to take a step like this if you've been out of the dating arena for years. Think through these tips on meeting dates and start taking initiative. Life is meant for living, but even more importantly, it's meant for sharing with someone special. Start focusing on finding a date, but more importantly, focus on feeling good about yourself and the rest will follow.

Advice for Finding the Perfect Companion or the Love of Your Life

2010-11-13T04:00:00.006+01:00

People date for a variety of reasons. Some are looking for short-term companionship, while others are looking for a mate for life. Know what you want.

Relationships can be tricky. When couples get together, they often assume the other person is looking for the same thing. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case.

As you date, you need to evaluate specific aspects of the relationship to see if it matches your dating goals. View each of your first few dates with the same person in a similar way to a job interview.

Temporary Companion or Permanent Possibility
If you are looking for someone to pass the time with and not have any lasting ties, that’s fine. However, if the other person starts humming the “Wedding March” or talks about where you’ll be as a couple years from now, it’s time to have a serious talk.

Instead of closing the door to the relationship deepening, let the other person know you’re not ready for a serious commitment at the present time. If this is a problem, it allows him to back away and find someone who is more suited to what he’s looking for. You may discover that he wants the same thing you want, and he was only acting out of his perception of your expectations.

Respect Yourself
A dating relationship is only as good as each person’s self-respect. If a woman doesn’t feel that she deserves happiness, she’ll find someone who treats her badly. A man who doesn’t understand his value as a boyfriend may settle for someone he’s not crazy about.

Kindness includes being good to yourself and expecting the same from others.
You don’t need to do anything out of desperation. Be patient and allow the relationship to take shape naturally.

If the other person treats you in a disrespectful manner, speak up and discuss what bothers you.

Respect the Other Person
If you have respect for the other person, she is more likely to respect you in return. Be willing to invest effort in the relationship because you care and want to provide a seamless shield around the two of you.

How to show respect:

Ask the other person’s opinion on things that matter.
Listen attentively when the other person needs to talk.
Be on time for dates. If this is ever a problem, call and explain.
Avoid being defensive.
Take responsibility for mistakes.
Don’t be afraid to apologize when you’re wrong.
Accept sincere apologies from the other person.
Never belittle the other person.

Similar Values
One of the biggest problem areas for many couples is based on different values. This can involve a variety of issues – from religious faith to how money is perceived. Although some couples with different values can be successful, the chances are high that there will be serious problems in the relationship. After the first couple of dates, you should have an idea of the other person’s values. If you make it past the third date, congratulations are in order. Now it’s time to talk about your values and ask questions.

What to discuss during the dating process:

Talk about religious beliefs and how they play a part in the person’s life.
Find out the other person’s view of money. Is she a spender or a saver? Does he like to have a nest egg, or live for today and worry about tomorrow later?
Discuss the importance of career and how much time it will take from the relationship.

Talk about how much time she expects to spend with you. Some couples enjoy spending all their time together, while others like to slip away from the other person for a while.

Being half of a couple can be rewarding if you have a healthy relationship. It’s important to know where you stand with the other person – if you’re together for companionship or if the relationship is heading toward a lifetime commitment. The healthiest unions between two people also involve a healthy dose of self-respect, respect for the other person and values that don’t conflict.

Top 10 Conversation Starters

2010-11-12T05:02:00.002+01:00

Nothing can be more disastrous on a date than running headfirst into the proverbial awkward silence. When there's nothing to talk about, there's absolutely no reason to date. People can sit down and bore themselves - they don't need a partner to help out with this.

Not only will the silence ruin your current date or relationship, but it may also leave you scarred with the memory, thus allowing anxiety to settle in and force everything to become awkward. Simply put, not finding the right conversation material can cripple your chances at a relationship.

To help combat this, let's go over ten of the top conversation starters out there. They're all easy, nonintrusive and will help to jumpstart the chat.

One: Talk about Not Talking
Allude to the potential awkwardness. This is good for a laugh and may actually ignite the chatting flame.

Two: Talk about Your Day
Coming across self-centered and like a blowhard is never a good idea, but simply giving some highs and lows of your day could be amusing or, at the least, intriguing.

Three: Give a Compliment and Walk Away...
Some daters, especially guys, go overboard on this. Giving one nice compliment is a good way to get a smile and ease into further conversation. Harping on about how hot someone is comes across like a stalker.

Four: Be the "Back" in Back-and-Forth
When your date says something, respond in kind with something related. Help the chat along by engaging in the topic and not trying to change the atmosphere.

Five: Total Recall
Hopefully you paid attention to the conversation that got you this date in the first place. You can always bring up a previous topic/discussion that has worked.

Six: Be a Reporter
Only ask questions that require more than a one-word answer. Don't ask how someone is. Instead, ask "So, how did things go with_____?" But be careful - you don't want to come across as a detective.

Seven: Play Captain Obvious
Look around and find something to bring up that's obvious. Talk about the place you're in, the car you're driving, the movie you just watched, etc.

Eight: Use Your Calendar
If it's close to a holiday or some sort of event, bring it up in a casual way and make it intriguing. Talking about what you got your brother for his birthday might be a great opening.

Nine: The Set-Up
Guys or girls - ask your date for advice, some help with a problem. Make them feel useful, smart and actually needed.

Ten: Humor Never Hurt
If you can find a tactful, clean joke that's not offensive, set the stage and introduce some humor into the conversation.

How To Be Funny Around Girls

2010-11-11T05:07:00.002+01:00

Here are some tips on how to be funny around women.

1) Have a positive attitude and energy

The first thing you should do is to have a positive attitude
and give off good energy. I personally know many guys
who THINK they are really witty but are avoided by everyone
because they are so cynical and negative.
You can’t be funny unless you are warm, positive, and energetic.
People won’t like you much if you’re always negative, period!

2) Loosen up and relax

Try to loosen up and relax like you are among your best friends.
Everyone is a bit funny when they are relaxed and among friends.

3) Don’t be desperate or try to impress

Your jokes will seem a bit “off” if you are too desperate or try
too hard to impress a girl. The more you try to impress, the more
your body will tense up and the less funny you will be. You’ll
probably end up looking like a desperate guy who’s trying too hard.

4) Play along when she teases you

Women will often tease you once they are comfortable enough to
joke around. Unfortunately, many guys will get defensive and ruin
the rapport as a result. Don’t make the same mistake.
For example, if a woman laughs and calls you a nerd, don’t get
defensive and start telling her all the cool things you do.
Instead, laugh WITH her and proudly tell her you are the king of
all nerds. Then start doing your best nerd imitation.

5) Listen to what she’s saying and use it as material

Instead of reciting lame jokes, pay attention to what a
girl is saying and use her own lines as material. Tease
her about little things. Agree with her and use imitations
to make fun of the things she dislikes. Come up with some
deliberate misinterpretation or misunderstanding of a
situation. Stay in the moment and just focus on having a
great time.

6) Take up a character and “act” out the unexpected

Speaking of of imitations, it’s a great way to be funny. By
taking up a character, you can be funny without seeming
unnatural. You will be able to stretch the boundaries without
feeling like you’re not “being yourself”. After all, you’re
just imitating someone.

7) Be sarcastic…but not too much

Girls often enjoy humor that is just a LITTLE bit sarcastic.
It shows you have the guts and backbone to not care about
what other people think. However, there is a fine line
between being just a bit sarcastic and being downright
cynical. Make sure you don’t cross the line. (It will take
practice!)

8) Watch lots of comedies

A good way to learn how to be funny is by modeling yourself
after funny people. Watch plenty of comedy movies and
television shows. Observe what’s funny or what’s just
plain terrible. Notice how many of the funniest scenes are not
about the jokes but about particular situations.

9) Make serious situations fun

One thing you will learn from watching comedies is that it is
often the situations, not just the lines, that make the jokes
funny. The jokes are merely are a reflection of how the
characters react to the situation.
With that kept in mind, think about how you can turn serious
situations into funny situations whenever it’s appropriate.
It’s much funnier to point out something unexpectingly funny
about a certain situation than to recite some lame joke out
of a jokes book!

10) Uses pauses wisely

Remember the old rule in stand-up comedy: use pauses wisely!
Putting in a pause at the right moment will create a greater impact
for the punch line!

11) Don’t let a joke get old

Something is funny the first or second time, but not the third.
Make sure you don’t overuse a joke or gag to a point where it’s
not funny naymore.

12) Recover well

Lastly, if you make a mistake such as blowing a joke, recover
IMMEDIATELY by laughing it off and saying something like, “That
just came off wrong.” By acknowledging it as a bad joke, people
will laugh with you and let you off the hook. But if you don’t
allow for that closure, then a bad impression of you may form in
their mind.

How To Use Body Language To Your Advantage When Dating

2010-11-10T15:38:00.005+01:00

Attract the man or woman you want by sending out signals

This is the language where you don't need any words. Women have been doing it for hundreds of years to attract the man they want. Becoming fluent in body language will ensure that you will be skilled in attracting the right man and sending the get lost signal to the wrong man.

Eyeing Up the Prize

The more eye contact you establish with the target the better. Start with some sidelong glances. Then, begin with direct eye contact. Once he turns to meet your gaze, immediately lower your eyes and smile to yourself. This will tell him that you were watching him and are embarrassed that he caught you -- a sure sign of interest. Next, be bold and try holding his stare and flash a smile.

If there is a man that is giving you the eye and you are not interested, look away from him and don't look back at him again. While having a conversation, looking at the ceiling and around the room also shows a definite lack of interest.

First Impressions Count

You leave your home ready to go to a party when you spot your gorgeous neighbor and he doesn't give you a second glance. Why? Because you aren't dressed your best. When you enter a room, most people look to see who has come in. This is when you have to make an impression. Looking your best will make you feel your best. So make sure that before you leave your front door, look your best. You never know. You just might just attract the attention of that gorgeous neighbor.

The Hand Job (no, not what you are thinking!)

Even without direct contact, your hands can send very powerful messages. There are a number of ways to convey that you want to get to know someone. Keeping your hands unclenched shows you're open to him. Using your hands to caress objects, such as the rim of your glass, locks of your hair, or the sleeve of your blouse in a rhythmic (as opposed to fidgety) manner, can be a sensual act. And for the brave, try picking fluff off his jacket, touching him to punctuate a point, or using the "accidental touch" when reaching for the salt.

Hands jammed in pockets, cleaning eyeglasses or balled in tight fists are all bad signs. Finger tapping, drumming, pointing or wagging are also signals to move on.

Stand Out

Your posture is one of the most telling signals you transmit. An open posture is evidence of an open person. Turning your body toward the man you're conversing with, keeping your feet flat on the floor and leaning forward are actions that show interest. Also, slightly tilting your head, crossing and uncrossing your legs and thrusting your chest forward give the message that you are interested.

Crossing your arms, holding a drink high in front of you, turning your body away or resting your feet on their toes will tell a person you are not interested.

A Few Extra Tips

Hopefully by now you have an attack plan for when it's time to get down and dirty, or when it's best just to wave the white flag. Here are just a few more tips when trying to perfect your body language skills:

You'll know things are going really well when you begin "mirroring" one another's body language and gestures.

Don't tease him by offering more than you plan to follow through with. This can lead to very ugly circumstances.

Chain smoking, being extremely intoxicated, or having eyes only for your plate of food will not put you in the best standingfor the body language game.

If you try your hand at it, and he's not responding, abort the mission immediately.

Following him around all night will only serve in making you look needy and desperate.

And finally, if all else fails, buy yourself a T-shirt that reads, "Looking for Love."

Choosing an Online Dating Website

2007-11-15T10:50:00.000+01:00

There are a variety of dating websites available to both general and specialist groups. Dating agencies like Match.com, Yahoo Personals, and eHarmony deal with thousands of profiles worldwide, hosting millions of members looking for love. Other online dating sites, like JDate, ChristianCafe, BlackSingles.com, Hispanic Match.com, Senior Yahoo Personals, and more, concentrate purely on a single religion, ethnicity, or age group. I would never advocate selecting just a single specialist dating site at first because you really are putting all your eggs in one basket, but if you don't find what you're looking for on a general dating site, a specialty dating site may be just what you need.

Most dating sites have security and privacy policies and those that don't are best avoided. By security we mean that they vet their members, they have policies and terms of use allowing people to be removed, or barred from the site. They may have protective measures in place to ensure that the members dating online will not face any serious annoyance when logged in. On top of that some sites will register with data protection registrars and have a strict password system protecting accounts.

The very best dating sites will be aware particularly of women's issues when dating online and will have a positive policy allowing women members to block those who they do not wish to communicate with, without repercussions. There are some sites that penalize for blocking and we would never advocate you to use them.

Email should always be a private affair when dating online and the top dating sites usually keep your email within the site itself so that you have a protected in box but messages are never transmitted to your real world address. Instant messaging is increasingly seen as very important when dating online and allows instant communication with other members who are online at that time. This facilitates easy and private chats which can lead to positive relationship building.

Chat rooms don't occur on all dating websites but we see them as very useful for new daters and socialites who love to chat to many people at once. It is a good way of getting your typing and chat skills on top form. The best sites allow you to use a different name in a chat room to your regular profile to maintain anonymity levels. The other communication feature we now see increasingly is voicemail. Apart from being able to communicate online it is very useful to be able to lave voice messages and listen too without ever giving out a real phone number. Site s such as LoveBrowser.com utilize secure voicemail box Ids and passwords through a common number allowing people to send and receive voice messages between themselves and members they like.

Here are some key things I believe you should always keep in mind when attempting to use the Internet for romance.

* Use a professional introduction agency, one that has been established for at least 3 years
* Use an Internet dating specialist firm, not some extra which is an afterthought
* Use an agency that allows free profile registration for all members
* Use an online service that allows you to post more than one photo for free
* Use a dating services agency that has a secure ecommerce system
* Do not use completely free agencies as you don't often get top quality services
* Do find an online agency that offers email and messaging that are onsite
* Don't use agencies that insist on sending emails to your own inbox
* The best Internet dating specialists offer you great customer service
* Use an agency that is appealing and relaxed and suits your style
* Don't go for agencies that pay for adverts to catch your eye, they are not always the best
* Look for online agencies that provide detailed dating articles and advice
* Make sure that the online agency includes their full address and phone number
* International websites usually have the best variety of member profiles
* Find an Internet agency that is willing to chat about any issues you may have
* Use an agency that offers different methods of secure payment
* Some of the best dating agencies allow payment in different currencies
* It is essential that you can Browse & Find profiles for free
* Make sure that the search facilities are fast and suit your style of searching

How to Ask Someone Out: Get the Timing Right

2007-11-07T10:55:00.000+01:00

When dating successfully, getting your timing right is one of the single most important factors. Timing in respect to the best time to ask a girl out, with respect to what night to ask her out first and even with respect to when in your lives you actually meet at all.

Looking back on my life so far I realize that when relationships didn't work out, it wasn't because the girls I dated were wrong for me. Most often it was because we simply met at the wrong time in our lives. To meet a great girl who wants to get married to you when you are aged 22 may just be wrong timing. Meeting a fantastic lady when you are working abroad or on a short contract in a different location may be bad timing and meeting someone who wants children when you are not yet ready is again bad timing. It cannot be helped and often it is a sad truth in life. The people we would have matured with best are often the ones we encountered just at the wrong moment in time. One cannot go back and one cannot rekindle something lost in time, so we have to accept that bad timing does happen with all of us.

The next time we face timing issues is when asking a girl out at just the wrong moment. We are attracted to someone and take the initiative or opportunity, only to discover that she got married three weeks earlier, or that she has just broken up with someone and is not yet ready for a new relationship. Maybe there has been a family crisis and the girl you are interested in is not predisposed for a romantic encounter. Three times in my life I have met great girls just as they (or I) were relocating to a new city! On top of this if you add illness and many other factors, there are plenty of opportunities for getting your timing wrong and invariably this is not your fault. Just a fact of life.

If someone accepts your proposal of a date then you can control the timing somewhat better. Your basic instinct is to go for a weekend because you won't need to go to work the following day and so can stay out later. Often there are more social events to go to at a weekend and more restaurants open and with better atmosphere. Clubs, bars and discos are all far more attractive at a weekend and offer many more possibilities of dating. Yet this may be a good example of bad timing.

When dating you may want to think about the attractiveness of a week night which can work to your benefit. Weekends are often the only real free time people have got and many now plan their weekends well in advance. I do not like being diarized but again it is a fact of life in the early stages of dating. However a week next Saturday for a date takes away some of the glamour I admit. Weekdays are fairly dull affairs in comparison and many are taken up with hobbies or simply commuting. They are also far less formal than a weekend and a first date on a weeknight can be seen as far more relaxed and informal.

Also, week nights are not late night affairs and an unsuccessful date can be gently brought to an end. So dinner after work may be a good thing after all. Also bear in mind that week nights can be dull and so a sparkling evening with you will do you and them no harm at all. In fact you are not competing with some other glamorous event the girl could have attended instead of being with you, so you are far less likely to face that troublesome contrast. Dating midweek also opens up the possibilities of more dates in a shorter amount of time and successful dates can quickly become longer prolonged weekend dates shortly afterwards.

You can do a great deal to help yourself with disappointment when a girl says no to you. Be flexible in your arrangements. Always offer a girl a choice of dates and locations and understand when she has reasons for doing other things. All too often when someone says no you automatically assume you are being given an excuse and that the truth lies elsewhere. You assume too much. Let her know that you are interested in her and that when things are better for her in her diary , that you can make some arrangements. Always stress that you are busy too and this will add to your overall appeal. Remember that you too must never be too available otherwise it comes across that you are uninteresting, or even worse, desperate. We have all heard the fabled excuse "I can't, I'm washing my hair tonight." That could be true.

On the other hand, lame excuses are just that, lame. They are mean to warn you off and persistence may be a good trait but it doesn't often win the girl. Interest factor is at play there and when a woman makes to many lame excuses it shows her interest factor is low. If she was very interested, believe me she will move heaven and earth to meet you. Therefore it is essential that you get your timing right and ask a girl out when there is the greatest chance she will say yes. That does not mean you should prey on her when she is at her lowest ebb. When a girl says no and means it, you will know it. Coming on to her after that and you become a menace so simply move in. It is a numbers game my friend.

If you are in a nightclub, timing again plays its part. Asking a girl to dance when she has just met up with a huge group of friends will receive a negative response even if she likes the look of you. On the other hand, intercepting her at the bar whilst her friend is in the bathroom may well prove perfect. Try reading the signals of the situation in a positive way. Asking a girl to dance at 1am as the club is about to play the last song will usually get you nowhere unless both she and you are desperate. And what basis is that or successful dating?

So, whilst being flexible and semi available, know your subject in advance and work out when she is most likely to be available if possible. If your timing is right, you could easily get lots of positive responses that will lead on to something more special. Not taking timing into account can have the opposite and most disheartening effect.

- Understand when a woman has good reason to say no
- Be flexible and offer an alternative when asking - are you free Thursday or Friday?
- Don't fight her excuses if she says no -move on
- Always sound busy yourself
- Accept that some people you will meet at the wrong time
- Choose a weeknight for the first date
- Chose the right moment to apprach a date in a bar of nightclub
- Never be scared of asking. The more you ask the more confident you will be
- Try not to ask her out in the middle of a big group, choose your moment carefully for maximum effect
- Don't get annoyed if she says no. Smile!
- Try and know as much about your date's circumstances in advance only if she is known to you already
- Work out the best moments to ask someone out
- Don't ask her out when she is clearly busy or stressed or unhappy or not well

Dealing your Sexuality While in Abstinence

2007-10-20T12:03:00.000+02:00

People can have sexual urges and feelings while keeping their abstinence. We make choices about our behaviors to be abstinent or sexually active, and can still acknowledge, experience, and enjoy their sexuality. Remember that sexual thoughts, feelings, emotions, and desires are natural and a healthy part of sexual development.

Abstinence is viewed either as not having any type of sexual experience; or not having oral, vaginal, or vaginal sex; or not allowing penetration but accepting oral sex.

If you acknowledge these feeling but choose not to have any kind of sexual contact, you can redirect this sexual energy into other activities with or without a partner such as:

· dancing or exercising
· shopping or even window shopping
· reading a book
· watching a movie
· meditating
· taking a shower
· being with friends
· having a picnic in the park
· strolling on the beach
· playing video games
· giving or receiving hugs
· holding hands with someone you care about
· cooking dinner
· dining by candlelight

Aside from these, those who decide on getting physically intimate with a partner without having oral, anal, or vaginal sex can do the following:

· giving or receiving soft , sensuous, or deep passionate kisses
· enjoying a back rub or full body massage
· cuddling, caressing, or stroking each other with or without clothes on
· slowly and sensuously undressing one another
· touching one's self in front of a partner, with or without touching him or her, with or without orgasm
· skinny dipping in a pool or pond
· taking a shower or bathing together

There are many reasons for a person to become abstinent, including religious or cultural views as well as personal or family values. Some are abstinent because they are simply not ready to have sex. It is important to think about what abstinence means to you, and then to live by that belief.

Handling Rejection When Dating

2007-10-12T15:12:00.000+02:00

Rejection is one of our greatest fears and a fear that can do some of the greatest damage to us. When dealing with dating matters, rejection is a subject never very far away. Being rejected by someone makes us feel small, worthless, insecure and unwanted. We lose our self confidence and want to crawl into our shells until we feel stronger again. We may do something outrageous instead, something on the rebound to exact some from of revenge. That can make us feel better. The fact is, being rejected hurts, whoever we are.

Most people like being loved and like being popular. It makes us feel good about ourselves. We sometimes meet grumpy people who say that they don't care what others think of them and whilst there maybe be one or two who do think that way, most of us hate being not liked. The way we handle rejection though is dependent on many self factors, our childhood, the way we were brought up, our earliest relationships etc.

Rejection comes in many forms, from a partner being unfaithful to a loved one moving out or calling off a relationship for good. Rejection may come in the smallest of ways, from someone making no effort on your behalf on an important occasions to a partner who simply falls out of love. Rejection can be a date who doesn't show up or a date who says that they don't want to take things further. But whatever the scenario, of you are on the receiving end of rejection you need to spend some time keeping things in perspective by looking at the bigger picture and relating it to the many positive aspects of your life.

The way we handle rejection is important in helping us keep our self esteem and dignity. When we are rejected we often want to go crazy and blame ourselves for being rejected when the reality is its usually the other person's problem, not ours. But when we are rejected if we are nice people we can forgive and forget fairly easily and make excuses for the person rejecting us. If we do that we are not helping ourselves. If we are rejected the best thing we can do is to move on, in time.

Being rejected hurts. The person you entrusted with hopes, desires and feelings has turned round and said that they don't want personal involvement with you. When this happens you immediately move into blame mode. It must be, in some way or another, your fault for being rejected. Maybe its the way you look, your shape or height, your hair or lack of it. Maybe the way you acted , the things you said or the things you did that caused the rejection. You ask yourself is there was anything you could have done to prevent it. Lots of "maybes". These are all natural questions we ask ourselves in the rejection process but they are the things we should try and avoid.

The fear of rejection is a debilitating issue. It stops us doing all the things we should. It stops us approaching the person we really like. Rejection is the curse, confidence is the cure. The way to fix rejection is to balance with confidence building pastimes, activities and thoughts and good times. If you feel good about yourself then you know some truths about yourself too. You know if you are good at your job, if you are organized, well dressed, in shape etc. You don't need to worry about what other people think about you to feel happy about yourself which in turn means that if a date doesn't go well or someone simply doesn't like you then , well , we can't all please everyone can we. To be exact, the more confident you are, the better you will be able to cope with some forms of rejection.

It is beyond the scope of this brief article to suggest ways of dealing with the feelings of rejection that we feel from the failure of a marriage or long term relationship, from fidelity or major domestic drama. But what is true in most cases is that when we are rejected we will come back stronger than ever, over time. Rejection in many instances moves us into a time of reflection and thought, of new perspectives and inner learning. It is a useful process because it also allows us to learn about ourselves.

The thing that annoys me most of all about rejection when dating is the lack of honesty in people. When someone doesn't like you they should say so. When they don't intend to see you again then say so. If they are not going to call then they should admit it. There is nothing more refreshing on a single date that either party being honest and saying that they would prefer to leave it there. When we are lied to, the feeling of rejection is compounded.

Another interesting facet of rejection is that there are people out there who will reject before they themselves are rejected. Its a kind of defense mechanism. If they feel they are not doing too well, they will dump you, before you may possibly dump them. I know some people who have told me that they have never been rejected or dumped because they always do it first. So keep that in mind if someone rejects you.

I don't have all the quick answers to this complex topic but I will say that if you learn about yourself, get to know your weaknesses and find ways of keeping your perspective open, your realism levels in tact, your humor great and your confidence bubbling then rejection will wash over you from time to time easier than if you don't. Looking back on my life, if I were to imagine myself with most of the people who have rejected me, I couldn't. That is because they were never right for me in the first place.

Make your relationship with a woman advance from friendship into love

2007-10-10T10:27:00.000+02:00

Do you feel that your relationship have been gradually progressing from friendship into love? In order to learn how to turn a friendship into a love I have compiled a list of skills you should learn to attract attention from women.

Women tend to overlook their male friend as romantic partner

How would you charm a girl who on the other side wants to be just friends. First, you need to encourage her that you really want her for yourself not just as a friend, rather as romantic partner.

The problem is women tend to overlook their male friends as romantic partners. Do you know how to date a friend?

Open lines of communication and recognize signs of encouragement

If the girl you are with is interested in you, she will exhibit certain signs of attraction and encouragement. You just need to recognize them and act upon it. However if you’re hesitating to invite her, another man could jump in as well.

For successful relationship it is essential to open lines of communication, and above all, trust your mate, but trust your feelings too. Every couple is different and each couple has different ideas and expectations.

Find out if women is available and interested in a romance with you

Women will let you know if they are available and you interest them. Use safe chatting as an instrument for getting date.

Talking with girls, and anyone else is on the other hand pleasurable task. You just go and do it. It is just what you have to learn. Women are attracted to men who know how to have fun.

Communicating attraction to women who can't read signals

Make a woman to be quicker to make up her mind about what type of relationship they want with you. As well, men expect women to be a little more forceful about communicating it to guys who can't read signals.

What kind of women are you asking out? If the women you ask out reject you consistently, simply start asking out women who are farther down the attractiveness scale.

Tips to communicating attraction signs to a woman

Bottom line: It is very important to feel good about yourself before seeking a relationship. Make a list of all your good qualities and anything good in your life.

Feeling good about yourself will also help you get dates. And if you don't end up finding that special person, at least you'll be happy being alone.

Potential Partners: What We Look For In Mates

2007-10-09T18:41:00.000+02:00

Dating can be as tricky a business as can trying to find a date. When we begin dating, we often forget to consider what we are looking for in others we would like to meet. We set off with a definite view of the perfect dating partner. The moment we are introduced to someone, or view some photos of profiles or personal ads online – we forget everything! Why is this? Because we are swayed by many factors, in other words, we are not as set in our ways as much as we like to think we are.

Beauty, of course, often holds sway. However much we like to say we are not, there are few of us who wouldn’t date someone attractive. It is in our blood and we would usually say yes to an attractive person. Beauty tends to rub off on those around it, so if we associate ourselves with what we consider are good looks we immediately feel good about ourselves also. Most of us are not models and therefore we tend not to meet those who are but we notice it in the things around us. If you can appreciate something beautiful, then you can also appreciate someone beautiful. To ignore it is a lie.

However, if we simply lived and dated by beauty alone we would be too shallow to succeed in any real sense. We would have 2 dimensional personalities and be uninteresting in any meaningful way. It is often leveled as a criticism in attractive people that they don’t have very strong personalities because they have traded on their looks for too long. Conversely, a conventionally unattractive person can often have a strong and interesting personality to make up for the lack of attractiveness in a physical sense. So it’s clear that as an isolating factor beauty (or more specifically, physical attraction) is to some extent important but it is not the only important thing when dating others.

We look for humor in a person because we want them to feel good by being with us and we want them to feel good about themselves in their decisions. We also want ourselves to feel good and to relax and have fun and a great time. Therefore when we date someone, humor is a must if we are going to ever reach a level of relaxation in the company of that person. Laughter and humor is about creating a mental connection and understanding about the world around us. It is a demonstration of a commonly accepted set of beliefs between us and it allows a demonstration of a level of understanding quickly not known in almost any other form.

When dating others, we look for eye contact upon meeting because it is the most direct sense of understanding and truth and honesty. We almost always look at each other’s eyes first when we meet as this is where we first find attraction. It is beyond me here to explain why that may be but I do like the expression that our eyes are the gateway to the soul. I tend to agree. The smallest change in the glint of our eye conveys so many emotions and it is thus that we first begin our instant relationship.

When dating others we look for common understanding and acceptance. We do not seek partners as judges but as part of our own emotional support system. We like to admire and to be admired, however subtly. In another parlance, we would say that we appreciate and like being appreciated. Either way, we enjoy the company of another because we make each other feel good about themselves. It’s an unspoken understanding. Where relationships begin to crack later is where the understanding and support is replaced by criticism due to internal frustrations of lack of support. Initially when we date, this understanding and acceptance is displayed through many different methods from conversation and laughter in agreement on a topic, to agreement in places to visit on dates and food to eat, drinks to consume, movies to go see etc. It’s all part of agreeing based on a common understanding, finding the common ground between us.

We look for honesty and truth when dating. It can be like one long test, especially when we are not new to the dating game and have had our fingers burned previously. We know that it is within everyone to embellish the truth and unfortunately part of the dating ritual is to talk ourselves up, so sell ourselves as worthy. When this happens we must be careful not to go too far and add things that are untrue. Later our burgeoning relationship could fall apart through such white lies. And yet there are too few of us who stick 100% to the truth alone. There will come a point when we all add in some substance to our conversations to help our image to our date and to be honest this can all be part of the fun. But the basis of honesty has to be maintained when dating otherwise it is a pointless exercise. We are looking to share our quality time with someone so let’s be truthful from the outset.

There is an argument that when we are dating we are seeking someone like ourselves, a reflection of what we already feel about ourselves and the world around us. I think that is a mistaken view. I think what this theory really means is that we want to love and be loved and to allow this to happen we hope to find someone who not only matches some set of important criteria that we set ourselves but also someone who sees the world as we do. Not exactly perhaps, but close enough that we can grow further both as individuals and as a couple.

Direct Dating - Take Control of Your Personal Life

2007-10-08T11:54:00.000+02:00

Direct dating is a recent concept, it is the idea that people are taking responsibility for their own romantic lives and being direct in their dating methods. For the Internet dating generation, the dating life of singles everywhere is certainly a lot different now than from two or three generations ago. Our dating life should be fun, enjoyable and part of all single lives. However the tone in recent years for singles has taken on a more serious note. It is not that people out there dating are more protective of themselves, we always have been. It is that the quest for the perfect partner has become far more serious. People are taking on direct dating methods and deciding exactly who they want in advance. Which probably explains the rise of Internet dating in particular.

As our lives have become more driven due to the pressures of daily life, due to career responsibilities and due financial burdens so our need to find someone compatible has taken a more deep rooted cause. In the past we may have been led to believe we should ‘make do’, we should ‘settle’ and that we should ‘be happy not to be left on the shelf’. These are old attitudes difficult to defend in today’s society.

In the last 40 years, modern advertising, communication and education has made us all more aware of who we are and where we are than ever before. It has created a self sustaining belief culture in ourselves, backed up by a huge multi million dollar self-help industry. And there is nothing wrong with that at all. However its effect has been one of allowing us perhaps to indulge in our fantasies more than ever before.

We are more career driven, we work longer hours and we are perhaps more tired than ever before. Many don’t take their full vacation allowance and watching TV has become an international past time. We don’t talk to people, we don’t allow ourselves to be as tolerant as we should be. In fact what we want in life appears to have become an exact science.

If we tie this in with our financial emancipation, it means that we now have a fit and healthy, self-confident, financially strong generation of liberated young people who know how to make qualified and deliberate choices for themselves. In turn this has overflowed into the modern dating scene. Dating life has become complex guys.

What is the result of this?

Well first of all it means that we have more singles and more divorced people. The reason for this can be attributed to a multitude of influences. But I believe the single biggest factor is the self-valuation we place upon ourselves. We are constantly reassured daily just how good we are. We are constantly told how fabulous we are and that we deserve the best. Us singles are winners, indeed we are. We are achievers, and to this end - just how much we deserve love. I agree. But the result is that almost every person we may encounter in our personal lives as a potential suitor becomes an interviewee. A person to be judged, a person to be analyzed, a person to be intercepted before there is any danger we ‘settle’, ‘make do’ and accept their interest in us as love.

The problem with this is that true love appears to be leaving us in droves. It appears to be a very scare commodity indeed in these enlightened days. We single people are all potential lovers in the modern dating scene. We are all open and available to that true love experience we crave. But an experience it is that we may perhaps miss out on. And that’s because we are not prepared to take a risk. We are not prepared to gamble. Dating is not a science, it is not a formula, its not in a book, its not even in this article. Its passion, its emotion, its felt in an instant and it is felt by living and interacting.

What differentiated us from our parents is that they may have taken that risk due to different circumstances to our own. Previous generations were not generally as wealthy, they did not have their own apartments so early and were not expected to stay single. So they took chances and made quick decisions. But they also felt alive and allowed their passion to breathe.

Today we find ourselves seated on a commuter train reading the latest self-help book on winning a guy, or how to make a date but the truth is that we should put the book down and smile at the person sitting opposite. We should join that club, make new friends, call up people we haven’t spoke to in ages. Stop worrying about the qualifications or bank balance of the person we recently were introduced to and look at their lips, imagine if they are a good kisser instead.

The rise in Internet dating is a key marker and indicator of just how many people are taking the initiative in finding a partner. People do not like being single in general and anyone who says we do is perpetuating a myth. Internet dating is allowing people greater choice than ever in selecting and finding the partner they desire and I feel they are right. Internet dating is not the only way to go, but it certainly is one very plausible choice.

In the end most of us will find love one way or the other, we will meet someone who makes us happy and vice versa. But our modern dating world is a tougher place to visit that’s for sure. We do need to be alert and we do need to have our own guidelines.

Do Bad Guys Always get the Girl?

2007-10-05T15:55:00.000+02:00

If we are to believe the movies, the ruthless tough guy, Mr. Bad Boy, always gets the girl !! If we remember the bad guys at school and college with the best looking babes it appears that the movies could be right. The best looking girls always seem to love the bad guys. Maybe because the best looking guys always became the bad guys ? Everywhere we tend to see bad guys and nice girls, we see fools and meatheads with the girls of our fantasies. In the mall we see our flaxen haired goddesses with America's Most Wanted. Is it nature at work, is it us, what is going wrong? You see men are confused. Men like to refer to stereo types and work from them. We are told that we need to be a hero and a tough guy, but then we are told we need to be in touch with our sensitive sides and be a modern man holding the baby.

Meanwhile the man down the street who treats his girlfriends mean, never calls, is rude and unhelpful and shows little respect appears to have a fan club developing. Life my friends is often unfair. Okay let us look at what is going on with this scenario.

Interest. Yes, interest. Bad guys are interesting, they do interesting things. They have strayed from the straight-and-narrow and are a law unto themselves. They do what they want. They go where they will and they answer to no one. They are interesting. Tow the line, do as you are told and you are dull. Mavericks are interesting, straight guys are not. Generally.

Bad Guys are a challenge, we all love a challenge. Women love a challenge just like guys. If something is a challenge the end results must surely be worthwhile? Of course and bad guys are a challenge. The girls who go after a bad guy want to keep them to themselves and will do a great deal to keep hold. The more you want them, the greater there is a chance they may walk away. Women love to feel good about themselves and getting their bad guy, at least for a while, satisfies that urge. This appeals to some people and the greater the danger of loosing a bad guy, the greater the effort to keep them. There may be a lesson there.

Bad guys are confident and self assured. They know what they are about and don' really care what others think. They are their own men and don't need others to prop them up. Some can become almost caricatures of themselves but that doesn't make them any less attractive. Bad guys don't have to be in shape, just look at James Galdofini from The Sopranos. Somewhat out of shape if Mr. Soprano doesn't mind me saying, but immensely attractive all the same.

What have we got if we combine these facets. Power, strength of character, confidence, a maverick nature and an immensely interesting personality. That equals sexy. Is it any wonder therefore that such types of guys often get the gals. It doesn't mean to say that we like them and it doesn't mean to say that this is fair or a good thing. But it can be natures way.

I am not in any way suggesting that we should all be Mr. Bad Guy. No not at all. What I am saying is that there are lessons to be learned here. What is attractive can be modified and added to our social arsenal of dating weaponry. It is first the way you perceive yourself that matters. If you can increase your confidence levels, get your career on the right tracks, excel in what you do and be your own man within the confines of your working life then this will boost your attractiveness. You don't need to go round being bad, but you can be a bit more deliberate in your actions, a little less available and a little more enigmatic. This will boost your interest factor and again help in your attractiveness.

The modern dating game is highly complex and courting rituals can be a minefield. Go back to basics and analyze within yourself what is it that you think partners like and how can you match of yourself to those qualities. Changing just a few small things could make the world of difference.

What Dating is All About

2007-10-02T11:37:00.000+02:00

Dating someone is as hard as actually finding a date. To some finding a date is like a needle in a haystack; to others it is like a mountain flowing with honey. When a person is on the actual date, he tends to forget what the main point of the date is all about. People date to know more about one another and find out if they are right for each other. Thats how I view dating in my very idealistic world.

For some reasons such as sheer joy, beauty or awe of the person you are dating. The dater may tend to forget all about the characteristics or traits he or she looks for. The daters may just suddenly like the person for the simplest reason of being pretty or being able to make you feel good because she looks like a model. You must try to avoid falling into a relationship where only the surface matters.

You might be pretty vain if you do think youre happy with a relationship based on the surface only. Who wouldnt want a good looking person for a date or a relationship? However these things might fail in the long run because you havent based what you really want in the characteristics of the person. Lets just say that being beautiful is an advantage that makes a person stands out from the crowd. However it is really the characteristic and attitude of a person that should make you decide if the person is right for you.

Here is another common misconception about people. If you have the looks you are considered to be having some kind of attitude. This is because you wont need to rely having a great attitude to find yourself a date. While the people who look like the average Joes and Janes would need to have a great attitude. It may be true but not for all. We should never stereotype because by doing so, will also limit a persons chance of finding a date.

Here are the usual things or characteristics that are important to some people.

Humor is a great thing to look for in a person. Being with a humorous person helps ease the tension of the date a bit. It also makes the date more fun and enjoyable.

The eyes are the windows of the soul. Eye contact would be a great way to learn more about the emotions the other person is conveying. A person can also see the truth, honesty and understanding of a person through the eyes.

We should also look for a partner that is very understanding. It would be pretty irritating to find a judging partner. The partner should learn to accept the mistakes of the other in some cases and support him or her. This could be commonly displayed among the simplest of things. Such as where to dine, what to do or even having a great conversation.

The important thing to look for is the honesty and truth of a person. A relationship will not last very long when it is based on hidden agendas and lies. One partner may feel very jealous or have doubts about the relationship. So honesty is very important and is a hard one to develop.

It is a common misconception that people look for people like them. This might be true for some, but the more general truth is that we all just want a person that can be able to understand our own personality.

By Graham Billingham
DrDating.com

Dating: A Guy's Bare Essentials For Successful Dating

2007-10-01T08:42:00.000+02:00

When going out on a date there are some basics that are worth listing in a quick list to cover the essentials. Whilst we all know this stuff it is always worth reminding ourselves as guys as to how to get the foundations right.

Bathe

This may sound cheeky but the worst thing you could do when going out on a date (especially if it is your first date with her) is to turn up unshaven, looking dirty and smelling. Women are the cleaner of the species and will judge you on how hygienic you are, after all, you would be appalled if she turned up for the date looking like a hippie that hadn`t bathed for a while (no offense). It doesn`t cost to take a bath and make an effort. Remember bad breath and body odor are an instant turn off and she will assume that this is how you are all the time. Even if you are just having a bad day (hey, girls have bad hair days all the time) she won`t see beyond your appearance - fickle, but true!

Arrive on Time

The worst thing you can do is turn up late! Turning up late will send out all the wrong impressions that you definitely don`t want her to think. Women always assume the worst and one of the worst is turning up late. Not only will she think that she has been stood up, but will also think that you are unreliable. If you are picking her up from her home, then it is advisable to turn up 5 minute before you are due. Any earlier and she will be adjusting her make up, or still getting ready and won`t want you to see her half finished. Turning up late... well just don`t!

Be a Gentleman

Hold the door open for her, let her walk through the door first, pull out her chair, be polite to her and the people around you. Women like to feel special and by treating her like a lady she will think you are fantastic.

Compliment Her

The first thing to say to her is "you look beautiful" before you even ask how she is. Keep the compliments flowing throughout your date, such as "your hair looks nice, I like the color of it, your eyes are very sparkly" etc.. But do not go overboard! A woman loves to be complimented, feel sexy, gorgeous and beautiful. However, most important of all, she needs to feel you are attracted to her.

Listen to Her and Ask Questions

Nobody wants to spend the whole night listening to someone talk about themselves, or not listening to what the other person is saying. But you do have to get to know each other. Ask her questions, but more importantly listen to what she has to say. There is nothing more that a woman likes than when someone is interested in what they have to say.

I remember once I was sitting in a restaurant waiting for some friends. There was a man and woman sitting at the table next to mine and I couldn`t help overhearing their conversation (rather him talking about himself). I could tell it was their first date from what he was telling her about himself. "I play Saturday league football, I like boxing".... He went on like this for about 10 minutes without stopping, or asking her questions. She was just sitting there nodding slightly every so often, and looking bored. That day left an impact on me, and every time I have been on a date since, I have been conscious of the woman, and took an interest in what she had to say. This is probably the best bit of advice I could give.

Prepare

The last thing you want is to be sitting having a meal and the conversation dry`s up, and you are left for the rest of the night bored with each other. Think about your date and what you would like to know about her, and in return what you would like her to know about you. Try and think of any questions that she might ask you, so that you can prepare the answer. You think that it is easy to talk, and that you will not run out of questions to ask, or that you will automatically have the answers. But until you are there, and in the situation, you have no idea what it will be like. You can avoid all of this by meeting for a quick drink, then go on to see a film, so at least you will have something to talk about.

Who Will Pay?

This is a really tough question, as now women are more independent and like to pay their way. I suggest that you offer to pay and if she lets you, then pay. If she wants to pay, you can argue that you want to at least pay for half the bill. If she offers to split again, you can argue (that is if you want to), but if she insists on splitting then let her pay half.

The Goodnight Kiss

Some women prefer not to kiss after a date, others are disappointed if the guy doesn't even try. There is no easy answer to this. The only answer I can come up with is; wait until either she makes the first move, or that you both know when you are ready. Watch out for body language and little touches, but I would not advise sex on the first date unless she wants to.

I'll Call You

Only tell her that you will call her if you mean it, and intend on seeing her again. This is an awkward situation, and most of the time the easiest solution is, to take her number and tell her you will call her, but don`t if you are not interested. When saying good-bye just say "It was nice meeting you" and wish her luck, or you could just say good night, smile, and walk away. But if you do like her and are interested, then you have to let her know

Quick Dating Tips: How to Ask Someone Out on a Date

2007-09-26T19:41:00.000+02:00

If you like some one you may have to ask them for a date. For men this is standard practise and for women, this process is becoming increasingly common. If you are thinking of asking someone on a date consider the following quick dating tips:

1. Why are you asking them out, is it for the right reasons and what do you expect as a result of them saying yes or no?

2. Be prepared that the person you ask may say no and in which case do not take the rejection personally.

3. When asking someone out choose your moment carefully and practise what you might say in advance so that you don't appear tongue-tied.

4. If the person you ask says yes, ensure you already have thought of a place, date and time for the date so that you display signs of thoughfulness.

5. Be prepared for the person asking why you want to date them so that you are able to flatter and create a sense of trust immediately. People can be wary and they may want to know some reasosn behind your request. Better, anticipate this by saying "would you like to come to dinner, I have always thought you are great fun..".

6. Make sure that your request for a date does not pressurize the person in any way. If they want to think about it, let them. But don't chase.

7. Make sure that when you ask someone on a date you smile and keep things fun and happy. Being confident and smiley will elicit a far more positive response.

8. Always have an alternative date and time or location in mind should the person be unsure of their diary. Giving a person a choice is often a marketing masterstroke.

9. If the person says no, don't chase for a reason, simply move on. They may think about things and get back to you with a yes response later.

10. If you ask someone on a date, make sure that you actually intend to go through with it. Standing people up is not allowed.

11. If you are being asked out don't play games. If you need time to consider the offer then say so. If you want to say no, say no. But do not keep someone hanging on for no reason. You wouldn't like the situation if it was reversed.

12. Try to avoid dutch-courage such as using alcohol to boost your courage levels as this will often backfire.

13. Don't ask someone out when they are in a group of friends. Timing is everything.

Confidence in Dating: Why You Should Become More Confident

2007-09-24T19:15:00.000+02:00

I once read the results of a survey in a leading woman's magazine that said the number 1 most attractive quality in a man was confidence. Not arrogance, confidence. It took some time to sink in as to what this really meant. Did it mean grabbing the girl in matinee idol pose and whisking her backwards whilst I kissed those luscious lips of hers? Did it mean turning into a caveman never taking no for an answer? Did it mean turning up at the door of the girl next door and whisking her off to Paris for the weekend, though we had hardly spoken? What did they mean by confidence? The quest was on it find out.

Every woman I have asked will answer in a different vein so the answer isn't all things to all men. Confidence, it appears, is in the eye of the beholder. Even worse, confidence can easily be misconstrued so one has to tread carefully. The point is not confidence itself, but its easier to define by its opposite, fear. Fear in men is not attractive. Fear defines a man as not knowing his own value, lacking a feeling of self worth, not being sure of his abilities, lacking in presence and determination. This I may add is very different from justifiable fear that we all face.

Okay, back to confidence. Men are attractive when they are confident said one friend. Another told me, "ooh a confident man makes me go weak at the knees". So I pressed them further. A confident man it seems is one who carries with him a self-assuredness that is most definitely not arrogance. It is a state where a man feels sure of himself and his abilities, knows what he is about, knows himself for what he can do,, what he may be able to do, what he may fail at but does not fear to try. A confident man is in control of his destiny, his future, his career, his day. And to many women that is very attractive.

After all, a woman is looking for a partner, one who will not only match with her mentally and physically, but someone who can drive her onwards, someone who has ambition and vitality, someone who can pass hi self assuredness on to her. A man who is confident is sexy because he is comfortable with himself, he is in control and he is able to make decisions, good decisions. He is confident in the choices he makes and in choosing you (maybe really you selected him), he passes this feeling of being special on to you. Being selected by the right man can be very sexy indeed.

If you are going to date the beauty in the corner and father her children then running away is not a good start, neither is feeling bad about yourself and failing to be able to hold a decent conversation. Far too many men decide in advance of an approach if they are worth of a woman's attentions or not. All too often they believe they are not. Except where alcohol is involved. Men in bars exude confidence, but they also exude beer breath as well! No the fact is that guys who lack confidence prejudge most situations and inevitably take themselves out of the dating fray before it ever happens, hoping, strangely, that the woman will make the first move.

The fact is, the confident men more often than not get the girl, because the confident man has something about him. I know plenty of good looking handsome men who are afraid to approach women so its not necessarily about looks. No, its about something within. Confidence is about self respect and self understanding. It comes from understanding what you yourself are about and when this happens a sexy man reaches out. Often lack of confidence in men is because of physique and yet it is an issue so easy to fix. 12 weeks in a gym will change a man's life. A fit man is a confident man. Dress is also something that instills confidence. No man has an excuse for not dressing reasonably smart these days as fashion for men is everywhere.

Ultimately we all lose confidence from time to time. People can take our confidence away at work or at home, in partnerships and on our own. Ultimately though these are passing phases. If a man can do one thing for himself in the dating game, that is to learn about his own confidence levels in an honest way and then go about doing something to increase them. Feel good about yourself guys and someone will feel good about you.

The Art of Kissing

2007-09-17T11:27:00.000+02:00

A simple kiss can actually have different meaning. It could be friendly, romantic, affectionate, or passionate. What's important is that every time you kiss, you have to make sure that it is satisfying on both parties.

But before you pucker up your lips and start learning about the art of kissing, it is best that you learn some basic guidelines as your first base.Kissing more than just touching lips – Kissing doesn't not only entail the touching of each other's lips. This experience actually involves touch, taste, and even smell. The touching of lips stimulates you and your partner's nerve endings, sending sensations throughout the body, not to mention couple's tendency to caress each other. A great kiss should also be void of bad breath and other distracting taste that you may sense. So before kissing, make sure that you popped a breath mint and offer it to your partner as well.

Practice first – You don't just go into something that you have absolutely no idea about. Before going on a date, it is best to practice how you should kiss to avoid embarrassment on your part. You could start with practicing with an inaminate object, kissing your hand, playing with a lollipop or eating ice cream on a cone. Also, consider watching romantic movies and see how couples kiss.

Expect a kiss, so be prepared beforehand – When you are on a date, or when your partner is about to approach you, expect some lip locking to ensue. Before that happens, make sure that your teeth are brushed, your mouth is clean, and your lips are moisturize. However, don't be too obvious about popping a mint or applying lip gloss as your date goes for a kiss. A little “bite and lick” on the lips would do just fine.

Look before kissing – A passionate kiss begins with an intimate stare into your partner's eyes. Gaze for a few seconds before closing your eyes. Then, lean forward and let your instincts take over.

Remember to pause – Once you have landed a soft kiss on the lips of your date, hold back a little. Relish the sensation it makes in your body, think about how it makes you feel good. Look into the eyes of your date for a few seconds, then close your eyes once again as you lean forward for a longer, more passionate kiss.

Keep your lips slightly parted as you kiss – Kissing with your mouth closed is not cool. It makes your lips stiff and it certainly looks “one-way,” even rude. Also, make sure that your lips are soft, moist, and warm as you kiss.

Keep your body in flow – Doesn't it fell awkward when you and your date bump heads while kissing? When kissing, open up your body by putting your hands on your partner's back, hips or shoulders. Also make sure to keep the distance close, and tilt your head as you go for a more intimate kiss.

A perfect kiss is firm, but tender – To make this trick work, imagine yourself softly eating a mango as you kiss your date. Approach the kiss with a little force from your mouth. Pout your lips as you close them, then open them again as you continue kissing.

Kiss with genuine intimacy – A kiss is something that you cannot fake. You may say that you are attracted to your partner, but the kiss says otherwise.

How to flirt

2007-09-11T11:05:00.000+02:00

Flirting Tips Help You Show Interest

You are at a party and out of nowhere someone is standing close to you. Like a genie, they keep turning up, close by, catching your gaze. You go and chat and they stand in the same position as you, playing with their hair, laughing with you and holding your gaze. This person likes you and is flirting. How do you know? Because without realizing it, you are an expert in flirting and body language.

What would dating be without flirting. Flirting is fabulous, flirting is fun, flirting is giving out signals that we may be interested in someone, or we may be pretending. But within reason, flirting is part and parcel of our daily lives. Flirting can be harmful when it threatens fidelity but it can also be sexy and bring people closer together. Some people are good at flirting and some people hopeless.Are you a flirt? If you are you know it and are secretly proud of the fact. It is sexy when you flirt and people like it. Flirting means giving people attention, it means, smiling, touching, whispering. In the right circumstances it is a powerful tool especially against the unwary. In the wrong circumstances it will get you fired. There is a gulf between flirting and unwanted sexual advances so beware.

It is useful to look at some of the key indicators of flirting and they can prove extremely useful when working out if the person across the table from you is interested. The one to keep your eye on the most is "mirroring". Mirroring is when someone copies your body movements whilst retaining eye contact. Its is one of the biggest giveaways there is.

Eye Contact

* Pupils are dilated and eye contact is maintained
* Eye contact combined with an arched eye brow
* Any form of winking
* Rapid eye movement and blinking
* Eye contact where the gaze is held longer than usual. Men normally look away.

Hair and Mouth

* Playing with hair in a stroking or toying motion
* Eye contact whilst playing with hair
* Touching your hair at any time
* Lots of smiling, open mouthed and teeth flashing
* Lip licking
* Puckering lips in a simulated kiss form
* Any form of touch of the lips or teeth with tongue

Body Movement

* The thrusting of chest or breasts outwards whilst holding your gaze
* The copying of your posture - mirroring
* Holding your gaze whilst moving to music
* Using a posture with legs crossed towards you
* Leaning in towards you whilst holding your gaze
* Open legged posture facing you
* The display of flesh of arm or thigh

Touching

* They will want to touch you and will reach out to do so with some excuse
* They will offer to place food in your mouth as if feeding you
* They will play with their hands and then with yours

The Way they Speak

* Their tone and speed of conversation mirrors your own
* Lots of laughter and questioning tones
* In a group, you are singled out by this person for attention even in general conversation and questions.

The main thing to remember with flirting is that it is fun and so much more so when you are receptive to it and understand when it is happening to you. The best flirtatious moments will always take you by surprise.

How to say I Love You in 100 Languages

2007-09-09T20:18:00.000+02:00

English - I love you
Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
Albanian - Te dua
Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
Armenian - Yes kez sirumem
Bambara - M'bi fe
Bengali - Ami tomake bhalobashi (pronounced: Amee toe-ma-kee bhalo-bashee)
Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bulgarian - Obicham te
Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
Cantonese Chinese - Ngo oiy ney a
Catalan - T'estimo
Cherokee - Tsi ge yu i
Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
Creol - Mi aime jou
Croatian - Volim te
Czech - Miluji te
Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Elvish - Amin mela lle (from The Lord of The Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien)
Esperanto - Mi amas vin
Estonian - Ma armastan sind
Ethiopian - Afgreki'
Faroese - Eg elski teg
Farsi - Doset daram
Filipino - Mahal kita
Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
Frisian - Ik h�ld fan dy
Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
Georgian - Mikvarhar
German - Ich liebe dich
Greek - S'agapo
Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian - Aloha Au Ia`oe
Hebrew (Thanks Lilach)
Hebrew to male: "ani ohev otcha" (said by male) "Ohevet ot'cha" (said by female)
Hebrew to female: "ani ohev otach" (said by male) "ohevet Otach" (said by female) Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw
Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta
Hungarian - Szeretlek
Icelandic - Eg elska tig
Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
Inuit - Negligevapse
Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo
Japanese - Aishiteru
or
anata ga daisuki desu
Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
Korean - Sarang Heyo
or
Nanun tangshinul sarang hamnida
Latin - Te amo
Latvian - Es tevi miilu
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Luxembourgeois - Ech hun dech g�er
Macedonian - Te Sakam
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Maltese - Inhobbok
Mandarin Chinese - Wo ai ni
Marathi - Me tula prem karto
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni
Norwegian - Jeg Elsker Deg
Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian - Doo-set daaram
Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo
Romanian - Te iubesc
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Scot Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort
Serbian - Volim te
Setswana - Ke a go rata
Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing'I Love You')
Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Sioux - Techihhila
Slovak - Lu`bim ta
Slovenian - Ljubim te
Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
Swedish - Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
Surinam - Mi lobi joe
Tagalog - Mahal kita
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
Thai - Chan rak khun (to male)
Thai - Phom rak khun (to female)
Thai (informal) Rak te (thx CAF!)
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo
Vietnamese - Anh ye^u em (to female)
Vietnamese - Em ye^u anh (to male)
Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu di
Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
Yoruba - Mo ni fe

Get Into Speed Dating

2007-09-05T19:16:00.000+02:00

There is a new way of dating, and you could get to know a lot of different singles in the process. It's called Speed Dating, a new mating sport that is being played in bars, clubs, and community centers in North America and Europe.

If you get invited to join a speed dating event and you don't have an idea what it is all about, then you have come to the right place.

Dating and playing at the same time
Speed Dating can be described as a cross between a job interview, a blind date, and a game of musical chairs. Participants get four to eight minutes, depending on where you are playing the game, to meet scores of different potential partners. With speed dating, you can meet as many as 25 people or even more.

A hybrid of online and offline dating
You get to meet a number of strangers within the safety of a friendly and merry environment that is policed by the organizers. At the end of the night you can ask a partner for a date, but a date only takes place if the other party is in agreement.

Does not put you into embarrassment when rejected
In most speed dating games, most communication is written or concealed from the potential dates. A big plus is that it spares singles the face-to-face embarrassment of turning someone down.

Ideal for busy people
Speed dating probably best suits busy careerists who would benefit from meeting as many people as they can within a short period of time. This includes busy individuals such as lawyers or performers who have had no time for pursuing romance simply because they have spent a decade or so focusing on education and then launching a business. Speed dating also suits health professionals and individuals who work off-hours, such as waitresses, shift-workers, and health professionals. Speed dating is ideal for those who always find themselves working the traditional date nights such as Friday and Saturday night.

Ideal for those who look for serious relationships
It is understood that these functions are for individuals who are looking for a long-term connection. If you are sick of the immaturity or addictions that come hand-in-hand with people you meet in bars and clubs then this might be a more efficient way to meet someone who is not intent on wasting your time with their emotional problems.

What you see is what you get
This also will appeal to those who have become frustrated with the anonymity and long-distance aspects of online dating. There is no false advertising such as lying about one's age or weight allowed.

Lets you see if the two of you click
The problem with blind dates and personals is that they do not satisfy a very crucial requirement needed in order for two people to hit it off and see each other again: physical attraction and chemistry. Speed dating allows you to meet in person and see if the two of you create an instant attraction towards each other. You are not required to waste time that you would meeting someone on a blind date.

How To Use Body Language To Your Advantage When Dating

2007-08-31T13:27:00.000+02:00

This is the language where you don't need any words. Women have been doing it for hundreds of years - to attract the man they want. Becoming fluent in body language will ensure that you will be skilled in attracting the right man, and sending the get-lost signal to the wrong man.

Eyeing Up the Prize

The more eye contact you establish with the target, the better. Start with some sidelong glances. Then, begin with direct eye contact. Once he turns to meet your gaze, immediately lower your eyes and smile to yourself, this will tell him that you were watching him and are embarrassed that he caught you - a sure sign of interest. Next, be bold and try holding his stare, flashing a small, open-lipped smile.

If there is a man that is giving you the eye and you are not interested, look away from him and don`t look back at him again. When in conversation, looking at the ceiling and all around the room, also shows a definite lack of interest.

First Impressions Count

You leave your home ready to go to a party when you spot your gorgeous neighbor, and he doesn't give you a second glance. Why? Because you aren't dressed your best. When you enter a room, most people look to see who has come in. This is when you have to make an impression. Looking your best will make you feel your best. So make sure that before you leave your front door, look your best, and you never know you might just attract the attention of that gorgeous neighbor.

The Hand Job (no, not what you are thinking!)

Even without direct contact, your hands can send very powerful messages. There are a number of ways to convey that you want to get to know someone. Keeping your hands unclenched shows you're open to him. Using your hands to caress objects, such as the rim of your glass, locks of your hair, or the sleeve of your blouse, in a rhythmic (as opposed to fidgety) manner, can be a sensual act. And for the braver hands, try picking fluff off his jacket, touching him to punctuate a point, or using the "accidental touch" when reaching for the salt.

Hands that are jammed in pockets, busy cleaning glasses, or balled in tight fists are all bad signs. Fingers tapping, drumming, pointing, or wagging are also signals to move on.

Stand Out

Your posture is one of the most telling signals you transmit. An open posture is evidence of an open person. Turning your body toward the man you're conversing with, keeping your feet flat on the floor and leaning forward are actions that show interest. As well, slightly tilting your head, crossing and uncrossing your legs, and thrusting your chest forward give the message that you are interested.

As for ways to send a man packing, crossing your arms, holding a drink high in front of you, turning your body away or resting your feet on their toes will tell a person you are not interested.

A Few Extra Tips

Hopefully by now, you have an attack plan and a clear idea of when it's time to get down and dirty, or when you're best just to wave the white flag. Here are just a few more tips when trying to perfect your body language skills:

You'll know things are going really well when you begin "mirroring" one another's body language and gestures.

Don`t tease him by offering more than you plan to follow through. This can lead to very ugly circumstances.

Chain smoking, being extremely intoxicated, or having eyes only for your plate of food will not put you in the best standing for the body language game.

If you try your hand at it, and he's not responding, abort the mission immediately.…

Following him around all night will only serve in making you look needy and desperate.

And finally, if all else fails, buy yourself a T-shirt that reads, "Looking for Love."

Potential Partners: What We Look For In Mates

2007-08-29T11:30:00.000+02:00

Overcome Silence & Idle Talk

2007-08-27T12:17:00.000+02:00

Looks aren't everything - you might attract women if you learn correct attitude
Have you ever been upset in favor of tiny chance for being picked up by girls due to your average looks? Most average looking Guys does, obsessing it was their main obstacle for success with women. But have in mind that looks aren't everything. You need to learn how to emphasize your positive personality side and mental strength so you compensate average exterior.

Do you think you are not what girls usually look for in a guy? You could be a bit overweight, introspective, quite shy, and not exactly the social champion. But what's dreadful about that?

Show your interest for woman by putting your feelings evident for her
Woman will get really frustrated with you if you act too shy and probably will conclude you might not be interested in her company. She has no clue whether you’re being shy, or you’re not interested. You have to put your feelings on the line much the same as the other person.

Girls would quickly lose interest when a guy expects her to call, plan and do everything, because she probably initiated the conversation and waits for your action. She would be even more disappointed when they find out months later you really liked her, but just did not say it.

Think Up Conversation Topics
Blueprint for chasing an honest single girl that makes right couple for you Even though two people who chase after a compatible single partner would make a compatible couple, they rarely cross paths.

Picking Up A Woman From A Group

2007-08-24T12:33:00.000+02:00

There are techniques to picking up women from groups
Almost every time you turn to the Discovery Channel, you see some poor creature that has wandered away from the pack and become vulnerable to a fierce, lurking predator. Before the creature realizes that she is in any danger, it’s too late; the predator has attacked and the pack will forever have one less member.

While the dating world is not quite like the jungle, there are some similarities, such as the social behavior of the female of the species. Just like many of nature’s creatures, women often travel in packs -- as we first noticed in junior high.

Men have also maintained a kinship with the wild kingdom: Like the predator, they are ultimately looking to satisfy a carnal instinct. So find your predatory impulse and read on to learn how to break a woman away from her pack. There are two tactical approaches: solo or with a wingman.

The Solo Mission
Make no mistake about it: Extracting a woman from her pack can be extremely difficult, especially if you’re going in alone. Her girlfriends have her back and they will cockblock you for a variety of reasons. Nevertheless, even the most insecure or protective cockblocker friend will give you some respect for having the courage to enter unchartered waters on your own. If you’re on a solo mission, remember that it’s all about the approach. Let your target know that she is the one that you are interested in. The best way to do this is by deploying some subtle hints.

Maintain consistent eye contact
A big group of girls with a man in the middle can break into an all-out attention festival. In your mind, it is painfully obvious who you are interested in, but the entire group might not have a clue. To clear the confusion, consistently shoot glances and exchange smiles with the girl of your dreams. This will let her know that you have your eyes on the prize.

Break the touch barrier
Break the touch barrier with some intimate contact, such as by gently touching her shoulder when you lean in to tell her a funny anecdote. If you are at a club or other loud venue, place your hand on her lower back and draw her closer to you so you can hear her better -- use this technique even if you can hear her. Gauge her reaction when you break the touch barrier; stop if she is uncomfortable and try again later. If it is still early in the game, you may want to find a new target.

First Impressions: Look Good When Dating

2007-08-23T17:09:00.000+02:00

In you stroll, looking hot in that new dress or suit with the Manolo's or Jimmy Choo shoes. You know you look good after all, it cost you a fortune. You are feeling confident due to the way you are looking and you know he wants you. Go get him girl. Does that ring true? Well maybe, maybe not. On the other hand, in you stroll, black Armani or Hugo Boss suit, Italian leather shoes, handmade shirt. You are feeling good, you are feeling successful, you are feeling confident. Yes, my friends, in this fatuous day and age we are what we wear.

Now I am not saying that we need to spend a King's ransom on the latest designer gear, fashions, style and hand crafted luxury wear from Italy or wherever. But I am suggesting that when we dress well we feel good, we believe we look good and we feel we can do anything we choose. So when dating, its important to look good because if you do, you will feel good too. Good style means a good level of confidence.

Forget arguing about body shape and expense in your defense against my argument here, it doesn't wash. You can look stylish and classic whatever your shape within reason and whatever your budget. Black will always be classic and well tailored clothes will always look a cut above the rest. I cannot walk down any high street or through any mall these days without being inundated with a sense of style. Everywhere we look there are shops desperate to dress you well. The fact that you don't choose to go in them is not the point. Therefore turning up for your first date in a comfy sweatshirt or sports top may make you feel relaxed but it shows absolute contempt for your date who has spent the best part of the last two hours getting ready for your squalid self. Get a grip man.

Okay so whilst my female readership doesn't need a lecture in self presentation generally, my male readership often does. The first thing I want you to remember men is that a woman will judge you by looking straight down at your shoes. You may not see what the fuss is about but she may as well be looking straight past your shoes, all the way down to hell. The fact is, the truth is in the detail. You have washed and scrubbed up well, but casting a more detailed glance over you and the small discrepancies are soon revealed. Missing cufflinks, tie all over the place, missing shirt button etc. All mean that deep down either you are a deeply wild and windswept sex god or you are a disaster in the making who has no idea of style and presentation. If you can't dress yourself buddy, what makes you think you can undress her.

But shoes are the biggest giveaway because men think of them as practical necessities that are comfortable rather than looking at the style involved. It is obvious what is classic and in fashion right now, simply turn your eyes and look through the window of the nearest ubiquitous show store. Once you have bought them, ensure they match the rest of the outfit. No don't mix brown with black and if shoeshine cream is as rare as diamonds in your apartment then get back to the shop and sort it out. Good shoes mean that you have attention to detail, she has seen and she has noted!

Men often make the mistake of thinking that the woman is relaxed and kind of a casual gal so he doesn't need to go mad when meeting up. He can be smart but casual. I have news for you, most men are casual, not smart but casual. It doesn't happen in my experience. Men have no idea at all what is like to get ready as a woman. The fact that you look subtle and classically understated is lost on a man. He thinks it took you 5 minutes to get ready. He has no idea. Which is why he threw on the white shirt that needed an iron and a pair of casual trousers in such a carefree fashion.

Do not believe GQ-style magazines, however marvelous they are. Whilst there is a small core of very well dressed men out there, they are not the norm. Take your average guy shopping to the mall on a Saturday afternoon and see how long he lasts. Whilst men have a better idea about appearance and do know some label makes and names, they are still eons behind women. But all is not lost. A man with a career can sort himself out in a few easy steps, he simply needs to get his wallet out.

Every man over the age of 25 should have a black, classic, single-breasted, good-quality suit together with the same in navy blue. He should have a casual jacket and a collection of plain colored well made cotton shirts. He should have three pairs of good quality leather shoes, in black and brown and they should be modern and in good condition. A man should have a good quality masculine watch. This is very important as it is possibly the only piece of jewelry a man may ever display. Okay a watch is a timepiece and a necessity but it speaks volumes about you. Some women have expressed a liking for men with large masculine sports watches, but whatever you do wear, it should be a classic as it will speak volumes about your taste.

You should always carry on you a good quality leather wallet that is not stuffed with receipts, preferably in black which you always wear within a jacket pocket, not stuffed into a pocket of your trousers. Whilst you may begin to think I am trying to describe James Bond, you are not far wrong. You can do far worse than to watch a Bond movie to get a sense of class and style. Neither am I suggesting that you alter your image from that which is really you. But as we are discussing first impressions, then you will need to think carefully about the way you do present yourself.

I can only think of a handful of men in my lifetime who do smart but casual well. For many men, it means jeans and a crumpled shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Take a good look about you and think long and hard about your current image and get some feedback from female friends as to how they really perceive your look. You may get a nasty shock. If you are pleasantly surprised then you are on your way.

Finally, though I have spelt this out before, I will do it one more time. Looking good is important, as is feeling comfortable. However along with this you should smell good. For men, Aftershave and cologne of a high quality are essential, and the less mainstream the better. For a start, if it is not one of the perennial brands then your date may not have smelled the scent before and will find it unusual and possibly attractive. She will most certainly notice. This is all part of making a good impression. It shows you have made an effort for her and you care. More than one Aftershave is good, a lemon based on for day wear and a heavier woody cologne for the evening with a hint of musk. But always consult and test because many Aftershaves do not suit some types of skin. So spray and then walk round the store before deciding.

Looking and smelling good is not a one-off situation. For second and subsequent dates you need to keep up the good work so I am not recommending your first impression-making attempts are not really you. I really am suggesting you take a long hard look at your current image and begin to change things for the better if necessary. And certainly for the long term. Finally, remember that your efforts will be appreciated even if nothing is ever said. In one short phrase, first impressions count.

Coming up with a Creative Date

2007-08-22T13:22:00.000+02:00

Here are some creative ideas to get your dates started and spice your relationship as well:

A night under the stars
Try taking your date to a planetarium and view the constellations from a telescope or watch the starts whirl beneath the dome? Or you could take your date to somewhere private, like your garden or a beach, then lay out a blanket and candles, and enjoy an evening together watching the stars in a real sky.

Amusement park
Bring out the child within your partner by treating him or her to cotton candy, rides on the Ferris wheel, and fun shooting games.

Mini-golf
Playing a “mutation” of the gentleman's game is silly, fun, and exciting at the same time exciting. The relaxed pace of the game encourages conversation and lots of laughing.

Comedy club
Liven things up with an evening of stand-up comedy at a local club. This is a great suggestion for a first date as you can tell a lot about a person by what material amuses him or her and what material seems corny or offensive. Take note, if you don't want to be picked on by the comedian, try sitting a few rows away from the front.

Zoos and aquariums
Animals appeal to people's sense of romance, as well as a sense of humor. This is also a good suggestion for a first date as observing the antics of animals has a way of breaking the ice.

Skating at a local rink
Follow this up with some hot chocolate and fun conversation in a cozy café.

Zen Dating
Relax with your date by taking him or her to a meditation or light-working session at the local Buddhist temple. Relax afterwards with a good meal in an Indian restaurant.

Psychic sessions
Visit your local psychic together to have your palms and tarot cards read. You can even get a past-life reading to see if you have known each other in a past incarnation.

Art tour
Spend a day together visiting local art galleries and museums. Make sure you visit the gift shop of the museum to buy your date a token that expresses your appreciation for him or her.

Mazes and labyrinths
If your city has a maze, see if you and your date can get lost together inside it. Walking a labyrinth together is not only said to be good for the soul, but it will help you define your goals together.

Cooking class
Sign the both of you for a cooking class and have fun feeding each other's delicious tidbits.

Feng Shui date
Visit your local Chinatown and hunt for lucky charms, wind chimes, and small statues to bring the two of you good health, wealth, and happiness. Finish you shopping excursion with a meal for two at a Chinese restaurant.

Dancing lessons
Enroll the two of you in dancing lessons and try intimate ballroom dances like tango and rhumba. This is especially nice for seniors on a first date who wish to break the ice.

Play in the snow
If it is snowy outside, take advantage of the weather and build an ice sculpture or snowman together. You can also ride on a toboggan together and slide downhill—holding each other, of course. Finish the day with steamy hot chocolate or apple cider in front of the fireplace.

Love letters
Buy special paper and pens. Make a date by writing love letters in front of each other. Once done, exchange the letters and read them out loud. Torrid romance almost always ensues right after this one.

King or queen for a day
Assign a date where you will treat your lover as a king or a queen for that day. Your date will not have to lift a finger while you meet every demand and errand he or she commands. This package should include a foot rub as well as serving your date's favorite foods.

Sunrise date
Surprise your date by calling him or her early in the morning and asking if he or she want to meet to watch the sunrise with you. Drive to a beach or some other beautiful location and simply watch the sun rise to the horizon. Afterwards, share a brunch at a restaurant.

Tell Your Child You Met Someone

2007-08-21T15:23:00.000+02:00

By Peter Ehrlich - Web Site: SingleParentLoveLife.com

Telling your child that you've met someone
I can recall the moment in crystalline clarity: I was pushing my single-parent grocery cart at my local supermarket and I was heading to the single-parent broccoli section. And I remember mumbling these exact words: "I'll never kiss another woman again. I'll never make love to a woman ever again." I might as well have been George Costanza telling Jerry that I could not foresee any situation where I'd ever be with a woman again.

For years, like many of you, I was merely the great single-dad provider for my child with no love life whatsoever. And so, my daily habits were just that -- habits. I only had to focus on my work and provide a quality life for my son, and at the end of the day ,I crawled into my bed for an animated chat with my pillow. That's it, nothing complicated.

But that situation changed for me in a heartbeat when I met someone online. And if my love life can change in a nanosecond, yours can, too.

Now, you might not meet someone online, but you may suddenly crash into the shopping cart of a beautiful woman who isn’t bothered at all by the impact -- despite interrupting her as she sniffs the back end of a cantaloupe. (By the way, her melon-shopping habits are a good sign in relation to her bedside inclinations.)

Or, perhaps after 106 coffee dates, you finally find someone whom you can envision saying “I love you” to, a statement that may be difficult to fathom in your moment of singledom.

All swords are double-edged. And if we do suddenly meet someone new and the relationship seems to have some glue, as responsible single dads, we know we have to be prepared to talk about our new situation with the most important person in our life -- our child.

Meeting someone when you’re a single parent is tough, but it might prove to be a cakewalk compared to telling your child that you have met someone. Along with your child’s fear of being replaced, you’ll also have to contend with his/her fear of potentially having an evil stepmother. Such fears are, from an adult’s perspective, unfounded, but to your kid, they are completely legitimate and need to be addressed. So, how do you tell your child that you’ve met someone? Here are some suggestions, along with some dos and don’ts, to help you on your way.

tell your child about your new “friend”

Be candid with your child
If it’s a nice, feel-good story, don’t be afraid to tell your child how you actually met your lady friend. When you paint a nice romantic picture, you are, in some way, teaching your child that romance is important and something to be treasured. Reciting your story may also cause your child to appreciate your honesty, which is a language that all children speak.

Inquire about your child’s feelings
Ask your child how he/she feels about the fact you’ve met a new “friend.” Chances are they will be happy for you. A well-loved child is an empathetic child. Our children want us be happy and they know better than anyone (hopefully) that being hugged and kissed is something everyone needs -- even dad.

Reassure your child
Remind your child that he/she is, and will always be, the most important person in your life. No one and nothing will ever change that fact.

Prepare your child to meet your new love interest...

Propose a potential meeting
Honor your child and show him that you believe that he has the maturity to handle the situation. Make flexible (i.e., no promises) future plans and suggest that “when the time is right, perhaps we can arrange a get-together.” Whatever you do, don’t rush the situation. It’s better to take your time and play it safe. You don’t want to get your child emotionally involved with a good woman only to see the relationship dissolve and watch your child’s heart break when you split up.

Prepare your child for the introduction
If you do plan to introduce your child to someone, reveal what you like about your new friend beforehand. For example, you could show that your new interest has a sense of humor and likes to have fun with a conversation that might go like this: “You know what Alison said to me today? She said something really funny. She said that I walk like a monkey.” Doing so prepares your child and it makes it emotionally easier for the time when they do meet her. They will meet her with a sense of established trust, and children understand the language of laughter.

Maintain family traditions
Don’t start canceling family traditions because you’ve met someone. These traditions are very important to a child, and they are what have the most positive impact in their lives. Not only do children remember these traditions for the rest of their lives, but they are likely to pass on to their children the very same tradition-torch that you or your parents invented. Don’t screw with family traditions, though you can include a new participant.

Ask for permission
If you have teenage children, ask for their permission if you want a “sleepover” at your new friend’s house. Assure them that if you are away from the house, you will have your cell phone with you, and that it will always be turned on should they need to contact you.

the key to a child’s happiness
Clear and consistent communication is so important for our children. To feel safe, loved and appreciated, they need to know that no one is going to come into your life and take you away from them. Give them that respect, and they’ll always be happy that daddy found love again. Isn’t that what you want?

Peter Ehrlich is a marketing and communications guy who works in Toronto, Canada. He is a proud single dad to Noah. Aware that dating as a single parent is completely different than just dating as a single man, he created a provocative and popular online dating site called SingleParentLoveLife.com. Peter has been interviewed extensively on television, radio and in print for his take on the paradigm of the fastest-growing family type worldwide: the hip, sexy and nurturing single parent. If you’d like to talk to Peter about working together or just want to say something, he invites you to write him at pehrlich@sympatico.ca.

Meet New People

2007-08-19T23:14:00.000+02:00

Meeting new people doesn’t have to involve a conscious effort. Just participating in activities you enjoy or running daily errands can lead to meeting new people without even trying. Of course, if your favorite activity is watching television it is unlikely that this will lead you to meeting new people unless you watch television in a public place instead of your home. Anytime you are out in public you are bound to meet new people without even trying.

A weekly grocery shopping trip can lead to meeting new people without even trying. Even this mundane chore gives you the opportunity to meet new people. Even if you shop in the middle of the night you are likely to not be the only person in the store and can wind up meeting someone new. You may be the only customer in the store but surely there will be store employees present. The cashier may strike up a casual relationship while they are ringing up your order and this could lead to the effortless start of a relationship with someone new.

Another errand that may result in you meeting new people without even trying is taking a trip to a bank. You will most likely encounter long lines and a significant wait. Rather than keeping to yourself, speak to those around you and you may find yourself meeting new people without even trying. While many people may be annoyed by the long lines, many others will be thankful for your starting a conversation because it offers them a distraction and a way to pass the time.

Participating in group exercise classes at a gym can also help you meet new people without trying. You are unlikely to meet someone new if you put on your headphones and hop onto an individual cardio machine but if you join a group class you will probably end up meeting some new people without even trying. The class automatically gives you something in common and if you can’t find anything else to talk about, griping about the intensity of the class is always a good ice breaker.

Those with children can find themselves meeting new people all the time without even trying. Children are incredibly social and often befriend most if not all of the kids in your neighborhood. While you may have not yet met all the neighbors you may find that your child has. If they have been making friends with other kids in the neighborhood, invite some of the other parents and children over for a play group and you will have the opportunity to meet the other adults while the kids play.

If your child is into sports, you can consider coaching a team that they are a member of in order to meet new people. The parents of the other kids will most likely attend games and practices and as the coach you will get the chance to meet all the parents at these games and practices. While your focus will be on the kids, the natural level of parental involvement will result in you meeting new people without really trying.

Taking a job where you interact with people such as customer service or retail is another way to meet people without even trying. Your job will put you in contact with many different people each day and each new person gives you the opportunity to strike up a conversation that may blossom into a relationship.

Attending religious services is another way to meet new people without even trying. At the start of many religious services the attendees are invited to greet those sitting around them. Most people simply offer a friendly hello but you are certainly welcome to introduce yourself and offer some basic information about yourself. If your neighbor responds affirmatively and offers additional information you can take this as an indication that they may be willing to begin a relationship. You may wait until the conclusion of the service and then ask the person if they would like to continue the conversation you started over a cup of coffee.

Still another way to meet new people without even trying is to volunteer for a charitable cause that you support. Your volunteer effort will put you in contact with like minded individuals who share your passion for the cause. As anyone who has ever volunteered can attest, it is virtually impossible to not be pulled into many aspects of the volunteer effort. As you become more involved you will likely end up serving on different committees and meeting new people without even trying.

Joining a club is another way to meet people without even trying. If you enjoy biking, try joining a club that meets for weekly cycling rides. There may be regulars on these rides and getting involved will lead to you meeting these people. Additionally there will probably be at least a few new people every week so you will be meeting new people just about every week.

If you take a class related to one of your interests, you may find yourself meeting new people who share your interest without even trying. A classroom setting gives students a chance to mingle before and after class and sometimes to interact during class. You will already have a common interest so use the class to form a bond with other members of the class. Either commiserating about the difficulty level of the class or raving about the interesting aspects of the class are both adequate ways to meet the other class members without trying.

Just going about your everyday activities may result in you meeting new people without even trying. Most of the activities, including errands that you normally engage in are wonderful opportunities for meeting new people. The key though is to be approachable or you may wind up missing these opportunities. Sometimes, all it may take is a hello to get a conversation started and sometimes you may need to dig a little deeper and ask some thought provoking questions of yourself and the other person to really form a relationship.

First Date Do's and Do Not's

2007-08-15T10:57:00.000+02:00

First dates can be very nerve-racking and may leave us shy, silent and blowing our chances of getting a second date because we weren't prepared for the first one. Here are some pointers to help you get the best start and make a good impression.

THINGS TO DO

1. Be on time - The last thing you want to do is make a bad impression on your date. If you are late then your date will think that you don’t care or that he/she isn't important. Even worse, your date might not hang around for you to turn up.

2. Make your partner feel comfortable - We all feel like a bag of nerves on our first date with someone; so by making your date feel comfortable you will be able to also relax and simply enjoy yourself.

3. Be an interesting date - The worse thing you can do is turn up for a date with someone then sit there all night with nothing to say or ask! Be prepared to be interesting and to have a good conversation. Show you are interesting (and a good listener) by asking questions that help you learn interesting things about your date. Dress great. Take great care in your hygiene. Don't reveal too much about yourself, but reveal just enough to show the other person that you are interesting and different - in a good way.

4. Laugh at their jokes - Even if you have heard the joke 100 times or more (or it just isn't funny at all) laughing a long with your date will make your date feel you are interested in him/her. It will at least make your date feel more comfortable with the situation.

5. Keep the conversation alive - That dreaded silence when no one knows what to say can seem to last for a life time and will make both of you think the other is boring. Jot down a few questions you would like to ask (but don't refer to the list during your date!). Practicing for the date can make quite a bit of difference and once you have started a great conversation, the rest will just follow. Here are a few conversation starters you may want to use.

6. Take an interest in your date - Listen to your date when he/she is talking. Be interested in what your date has to say and show how interested you are by asking questions about what your date is talking about. For example, if your date says he/she likes to travel then ask him/her what the most unique place is he/she has traveled to.

7. Take your date somewhere unique - First dates don’t just have to be about going to the cinema or to a restaurant for a nice meal. You will make a longer, lasting impression if you are imaginative with your date. Check out these creative date ideas and these first date ideas.

8. Be confident - Confidence says a lot about a person. Being more confident will help you get through that first date with ease.

9. Be yourself - You won’t fool anyone by pretending to be someone you are not.

10. Most importantly - STAY SAFE. Check out our pointers to dating safely.

THINGS NOT TO DO

1. Be late - First impressions count and if you are late then this will make your date think of you as lazy, having lack of initiative, or not putting an importance on the evening.

2. Talk about yourself all night - There is nothing worse then a person that loves to talk about himself or herself all the time. Be the one asking the questions!

3. Talk about past relationships - Maybe that’s how you lost the last one. Nobody wants to hear you drone on about your ex and what he or she did or didn't do. Concentrate on your date and see if you can get to the second date.

4. Eat with your mouth open - This will not only create a negative impression of you to your date, but also to other people around you.

5. Ask too many personal questions - This is your first date and your date may not want to reveal too much about himself/herself just yet. If you like each other and want to continue with the relationship then there will be plenty of time to ask more intimate questions.

6. Try to be someone you are not - It's important to be yourself as you don't want other people to settle for anything different. Trying to act like someone you are not will only backfire in the future.

7. Forget to thank them for the date - It is good manners and etiquette to thank your date for the evening. If you don't want to go on a date again, this is where you will get your chance to end it. If you do, then this is your chance to ask your date out on another date.

8. Propose marriage or kids - Unless you don’t want to see them again.

9. Pursue sex; especially after your partner has said no.

10. Get drunk - You don’t want to spend half the night in the toilet vomiting and your date won’t think much of you. You can also put yourself at risk of unwanted advances and will not be in the right frame of mind or body to do anything about it.

How does a woman show her disinterest?

2007-08-14T11:43:00.000+02:00

First of all she will not show any of the signs mentioned in How does a woman show her interest in You? and in Signals of a female Dating Mood.

* A woman will NOT smile at you
* A woman will NOT touch you
* A women will NOT lean forward to you

Moreover she will do the opposite:

* A woman will walk away from you
* A women will hide her breasts
* A woman will cross her arms

How does a woman show her interest in You?

2007-08-14T11:35:00.000+02:00

Since a woman will hardly use words (see It is your Duty to use Words) she has other methods of showing that she is interested in YOU:

* A woman will move to the rhythm of the music while looking at you
* A woman will touch her breasts
* A women will lean forward to you
* A woman will lean towards you and talk into your ear
* A woman will start to touch you (your shoulder, your arm, your thigh, your hand...)
* A women will blink more
* A woman will blush while being around you
* A woman will blow smoke towards you (Warning! Could be a sign of disgust, too)
* A woman will match her laughing to your laughing
* A woman will match her drinking (= taking the drinking glass) to your drinking (this is a general sympathy rule and doesn't necessary mean sensual readiness)
* A woman will with the table legs: Wrapping her legs around the table legs, touching them etc.
* A woman will smile to you and raise her eyebrows

* A women will keep glancing at you (probably with dilated pupils)
* A women will touch/scratch her legs
* A women will lick her lips, touch her front teeth with her tongue
* A woman will bite her fingernail
* A woman will get erected nipples (sometimes you can see that thru her clothes)
* A women will play with their hair
o running with her hand thru her hair
o stroking hair
o twirling hair around her fingers
o twisting streaks
o throwing her hair off her shoulders
* A women will play with her lips (biting them, touch them with a glass etc.)
* A women will look right into your eyes without words and then smile
* A woman will double-check her outfit and will fix it/ enhance it for you
* And maybe most importantly: A woman will look 3 times at you:
1. She looks
2. She looks away
3. She looks
4. She looks away
5. She looks

Now you can smile at her and go to her. And I literally mean GO. Then apply all the other dating advices of this site :-) But whatever you do: Do not look down or away.

I do not say that a woman will use EVERY of the ways mentioned above to show her "readiness". But a woman usually uses one or more of them.

The Key Rules of Dating

2007-08-13T10:49:00.000+02:00

The problem with the dating game is that there are dating rules to follow and most of them we forget as we grow older. You see, when we are young our fellow friends at school and college reinforce the way things should be done when dealing with potential dates. Yes you should wear that, no you never say that, yes you should do this, but no you never do that. Then we grow up. For a time we are completely aware of the rules of dating and we practice those rules every time we meet someone. But then we meet someone perhaps, fall in love and have a relationship. Little by little the things we learned over our formative years when dealing with the fairer sex are lost and are in fact unlearned.

Then one day we are unwillingly thrust back onto the dating scene only to find that we start behaving like 12 year olds. We call our dates too often, we are constantly available, we wear the wrong clothes, laugh at bad jokes like a fool, date the wrong people and generally get it all badly wrong. Then we get hurt or taken for a ride. Of course there will be some of you reading this that are the very epitome of dating sophistication, but the truth is, when you lose your heart you also lose your head. If you are going to date well then give these key do's and don'ts of dating some serious consideration. Dating rules are very important if you want to win and keep your perfect match.

Dating Rules - Do's

1. Do try to look your best and be punctual on dates

2. Do have fun when dating. I know the subject of Mr. or Miss Right is serious but dating is fun too so keep it that way.

3. Do flatter and compliment your date on the way they look and the things they wear. People tend to go to a lot of effort on a date (hopefully) so being told that you are looking good is a nice thing to hear.

4. Be interested and interesting. As the Pet Shop Boys once said, I was never bored because I was never being boring" or something similar. You get my drift.

5. Do tell someone if you are not interested in dating them again. Being lied to and hopes kept alive is an evil and malicious act (yes I mean it that strongly). If you don't want to see someone again then let them know that in the nicest possible way you can.

6. Do date the type of people you like and are attracted to, whatever your friends may say. Approval by your peers doesn't prove a thing.

7. Do stay positive even when dates don't end well. It is most certainly true that you will date a few frogs before you find a prince. Along the way you will meet some nice people too and make some good contacts possibly.

8. Dating is a creative diversion, it requires concentration and energy so when you are dating keep some plans in the forefront of your mind and allow dating to take you to places you always wanted to visit within your own city.

9. Do make dating happen for yourself. People will not come and ring your bell from nowhere. Dating requires positive action so go out there and meet people, as many people as you can. Practice your chat and flirting on shop workers, bar attendants, anywhere and everywhere. Being nice to people is very sexy and great fun.

10. Do surround yourself with positive like minded people who are also dating. Think about the girls from Sex and the City and how they assist each other in dating and matters of romance. Negative friends who don't condone the dating scene or don't understand it will only help lower your own expectations and make you feel negative.

Dating Rules - Don'ts

1. Never call someone more than once a day unless they reply. Desperation and instability are huge turn offs.

2. Don't date the people who you usually find dump you. You may be generally attracted to bastards but that will not get you anywhere except hurt.

3. For men, never ever be late for a date, even if you have a very good reason. Women should never be kept waiting and should never have to seat themselves - ever.

4. Never tell lies to your date or pretend anything about your life that isn't true. If this is your perfect match for God's sake do not allow it to be ruined by some silly lie told early on.

5. Never be too available. Being available every night of the week and at the end of every whimsical phone call or possible rendezvous means you are making yourself uninteresting and a possible doormat. Be busy, be unavailable generally and be interesting.

6. Don't give away too much about yourself at the start. People love enigma and mystery. Revealing to your new date your inner most secrets on date number two will quickly ruin everything. A small bit at a time people.

7. Never check other people out when you are with your date. You may think you are subtle , your date will be heading for the door. Have the courtesy of concentrating solely on your date when you are with them.

8. Don't be rude or get drunk on a date. Courtesy and manners will get you everywhere.

9. Don't ignore your personal safety when dating. Have a cellular phone and keep it charged, tell your friends where you are going and be safe. Date at first in well known public places and never ever be pushed into anything you are not happy with.

10. Don't give out personal information like home phone numbers and addresses on a first date. Keep them until you are sure of your date and the future possibilities.

11. Don't have sex on a first date if you ever want to see your new date again. If you like them and are interested in them, sex on a first date will usually ruin everything. Its too much too soon and is not the way of romance. Believe me I am 100% certain on this.

12. Never date a married person. They will not leave their husbands or wives for you (except exceptionally rarely). Married dating is the sure fire way to misery, lies, deceit, lack of self respect and loss of romance. If you are married, separate first. If you are single, don't be a shoulder to cry on, you deserve far better.

Online Dating Magazine Issues Sexual Predator Warning to Single Parents

2007-08-09T11:24:00.000+02:00

Online Dating Magazine, a consumer watchdog publication for online daters, has issued a warning to single parents about sex offenders who use online dating services.

“There are some sexual predators and sex offenders who specifically use online dating services to target single parents in order to get to their kids,” says Joe Tracy, Publisher of Online Dating Magazine. “It doesn’t happen a lot, but it does happen.”

The warning comes after a convicted child molester was caught emailing a supposed mother of two kids on an online dating service, during a sting set up by Parents for Megan’s Law.

Parents for Megan’s Law, a child advocacy group, received anonymous emails about the convicted sex offender using Match.com in New York. As a result, the group set up a fake profile of a mother of two boys and emailed the sex offender, Michael Bradley. Bradley responded, breaking his court order not to seek romantic relationships online. As a result his computer was confiscated and he faces the possibility of having his parole revoked.

“It is the responsibility of consumers to protect their safety and that of their families, so do not rely on the assurances of dating sites that attempt to screen out predators,” said Dr. James Houran, spokesperson and feature columnist for Online Dating Magazine.

According to Dr. Houran, “the best protection is to use your head in matters of the heart. Do not get so caught up in the excitement of online dating that you are not constantly alert – instead assume everyone online is a potential predator.”

Online Dating Magazine recommends the following tips that parents should follow when using an online dating service:

1) Never post photos of your children in your profile or anywhere online.

2) Don’t talk about your children in your profile.

3) Don’t mention what gender your children are.

4) If you’re dating someone, wait several months – until you are more serious – before introducing your date to your children.

5) Run a background and sex offender check on the person you’re dating before introducing them to your children.

While online dating is generally a safe way to meet people, Online Dating Magazine recommends that online daters take a cautious approach to online dating.

How to find Mr. Right

2007-08-08T10:43:00.000+02:00

Does Mr. Right exist? Is he out there somewhere? Will I find him?

Mr. Right is a key subject for many women and an inspiration of hope on a daily basis. Yes he may well exist, yes he is probably out there and yes you WILL find him! Of course in all our lives we have goals, aims, ambitions and desires small and large. It is these landmarks and goalposts that keep us positive and busy. It is what makes us human. In recent years the terms Mr. Right and Miss Right have become over used and devalued. Almost as if we have a chart on our wall , an extensive tick list, a resume of specifics that the person in question must submit to get his foot through the door of the "potentials" interview.

Most of us would deny we are that bad and hope that chance will take a hand in bringing Mr. Right to us. Yes we accept that we have a small but insignificant "list" and yes we accept that there are some 'definites' on it which are nonnegotiable, but they are fairly minor. Or are they? The fact of the matter is that as the decades have passed by, we have become far more sophisticated, as humans, as individuals, as lovers and mates. We know how to orgasm, we have a good salary and a nice home and are well educated in the ways of the world. Therefore it is only fair that we seek someone to match, to fit in, to adapt, to accompany, to facilitate. And there lays the issue.

The fact is that Mr. Right also has a tick list, an agenda, only a small one of course, but a list all the same, and he is ticking off your assets as we speak. He wants someone young, someone well educated, someone good looking and in shape. We are indignant, how shallow we cry. Typical man we sigh. Yet are we any better? Look at your list and look very carefully at what or who constitutes your Mr. Right. And then look again. Are you sure first of all that your tick list is achievable? Yes, or are you willing to negotiate? Okay so you are happy with your list. Then what?

Well now, are you willing to go out and get your Mr. Right or are you waiting for him to come to you? Many women tell me they are waiting for Mr. Right. The word "waiting" concerns me. By waiting it means men come to you by chance, perhaps by design and you tick off their assets, your check them out and then cast off anyone who doesn't match your list. Maybe you do, but remember this my friends, Mr. Right is looking for his Miss Right? How much work have you put into being Miss Right or should he accept you as you are and fit in around you? If he did slot in to your life would he really be Mr. Right or an accouterment, an asset, a trinket that you would get bored of?

The thing I am asked by eligible men more than anything these days is, "where have all the nice girls gone". Think about those words carefully. These men are not asking where the doormats went, the punch bags, the housewife slaves. Not at all. No what they are asking is where all the women went who don't have a huge checklist as long as their admittedly muscular arms. Most men simply want someone to love, someone who they can dote on in their own ways and who they can feel special and share with. The problem for them is that they are not finding it because they are constantly under 'resume-pressure'. They are told they must adapt and fit in, they are trying to fulfill their part of the list bargain and then they are faced with the Miss Rights out there.

As a potential Miss Right you owe it to yourself to complete a few tasks. Take a long hard look at your list and ask yourself exactly how flexible you are being. Secondly look at who your Mr. Right is and how truthfully obtainable they are. Thirdly, don't kid yourself about your own potentials but don't compromise on ideals either. Fourthly, bring yourself out into the open and go after your Mr. Right.

Don't play the waiting game because you do not want to spend the rest of your life knowing your Mr. Perfect is married to someone else when he could have been yours. And finally, compromise is the key in reality, for all the things Mr. right must be, try and balance that with attempting to be something your Mr. Right doesn't want to miss.

Do women really like bad boys?

2007-08-08T10:37:00.000+02:00

When You Meet Your Online Date For The First Time

2007-08-07T18:14:00.000+02:00

You may have been chatting online with someone for a long time and you may feel that you know him or her well. This may not be true, because your online friend may have been lying to you.

Be careful about meeting him or her, or about revealing personal information about yourself, just as you would when you meet a stranger for the first time. There will be excitement coupled with anxiety when you meet your online date for the first time, but you need to think about protecting yourself first.

In the rest of this article, you'll discover even more stuff about the topic - and it is simple and easy to follow.

Keep the following tips in mind when you meet your online date for the first time:

1. Meet your online date in a public place and take a friend along. You can try to make it a double date or meet with a group of friends.

2. Tell your date that you will meet him or her. Don't agree to be picked up from your home

3. To avoid feeling like you are under an obligation, insist on splitting the bill with your date.

4. Use your own car to go for the date and make sure that you have sufficient fuel.

5. If you choose to drink, always remember that alcohol will reduce your inhibitions and impair your judgment. Always keep your glass in sight, so that you are aware of what you are drinking.

6. Avoid telling your date your address on your first date. Make plans to meet a second time and then decide if you want to tell him or her where you live.

7. If you have an intuition about the type of person your date is, don\'t ignore it. If a sixth sense warns you that something is not right, leave right then.

8. If your date tells you that he or she is very religious, don\'t take it for granted that you will be safe with him or her.

9. Never agree to meet your date in a lonely place.

10. Even if there is a lot of attraction and you are having a great time, remain vigilant. Keeping a cell phone handy can help.

11. It is better to give your date your cell phone number, rather than your home phone number.

12. Tell someone where you are going and whom you will be meeting. Fix a time when you will be calling them to confirm that you are back and safe.

Remember, take good care of yourself first !

Links to 41 online dating sites

2007-08-02T15:20:00.000+02:00

Something for everyone...?

1. Adult Friend Finder
An adult oriented dating service.

2. Asian Singles Connect
A matchmaking service for the Asian community.

5. BBW Personals Plus
A comfortable singles community for Big Beautiful Woman (BBW) and Big Handsome Men (BHM).

6. Catholic Mingle
A dating site dedicated to singles of the Catholic faith.

10. Chemistry
For singles looking for other singles serious about relationships. eHarmony's main competition.

11. ChristianMingle.com
Meet Christian singles at this active personals site (formerly called Relationships.com).

12. Date.ca
One of Canada's premier online personals service.

13. Date.com
Over 2 million singles actively use this dating site worldwide.

14. DatingDirect.com
DatingDirect.com is the UK's largest dating service.

15. eHarmony
Popular christian based dating service with a very detailed dating profile.

16. FriendFinder
Offers more features for singles when compared to other dating sites, including blogs, forums and interest groups.

17. Gay.com
A 100% gay and lesbian dating service.

18. Great Expectations
Over 30 years of experience in helping people find love. A very personal experience.

19. Indian FriendFinder
For singles who are a part of the Indian culture.

20. JDate
A popular Jewish dating service with singles mainly from the United States.

21. Jewish FriendFinder
A great Jewish community for singles.

22. Lavalife
A dating service for American and Canadian singles.

23. Look Better Online
Professional photo's for your dating profile at a reasonable price. Available in over 6000 cites.

24. Match.com
One of the top 5 dating sites. Includes relationship advice from Dr. Phil.

25. Matchmaker.com
An online dating site for the marriage minded single.

26. MillionaireMatch.com
Certified wealthy single men and woman.

27. OutPersonals.com
One of the fastest growing gay communities.

28. Passion.com
An adult oriented dating service.

29. PerfectMatch.com
An exciting dating service that has been featured in popular date movies.

30. Platinum Romance
A dating site dedicated to the united states single.

31. Prime Singles
A dating service for the dating senior single.

32. Senior FriendFinder
Specialize in matching singles who are 50 and over.

33. SeniorMatch.com
An online dating service for singles 50 plus.

34. Single Christian Net
A great matchmaking service for Christian that got it's start in 1991

35. Single Parent LoveLife
Keepng online dating simple for single Moms and Dads

36. Single Parents Mingle
Online dating for singles with children.

37. Sugardaddie.com
Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babes!

38. True
Safer Dating, members are checked for criminal records and marriage status before their dating profile is approved.

39. UK Singles Connect
Online Dating that cover England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.

40. WealthyMen.com
This matchmaking service allows woman to find professional men who make over $100,000 a year.

41. Yahoo! Personals
Yahoo's Premier dating service.

15 tips on how to flirt with a woman

2007-08-01T13:42:00.000+02:00

Men will always view the woman as a mystery; a code that needs to be cracked. That is why flirting with a woman can be a little tricky, as they tend to have moods that we may never understand. The art of flirting and seduction, as with any other skill, does not always come naturally and can be developed. With some effort, in time you would become a magnet for other people.

1) Smile
This is probably the easiest form of flirting. It brings out your positivity and you are indicating that you are interested to the person you are talking with. But unlike a “regular” smile, a “flirty” smile should be wider than you are used to. Smile often, such as when shaking her hand, introducing yourself, complementing her, among other things. Remember that a smile breaks the ice, and can lead to a conversation. Practice your smile in the mirror and check how to smile without looking too scary.

2) Get caught looking at her
It may seem to be something shy guys tend to do, but looking away can be flirty. If you want to know to let her know you are interested, just look at her face. When she catches you looking, smile, hold eye contact for a moment, then look away.
Wave a little – Another way of flirting if you get caught looking at a hot girl is to give a little wave. Move your hand a little and smile. It's saying “hello” in a non-intrusive yet very flirty manner.

3) Wink
Giving a quick and sweet wink can be done with someone from across the room, or at someone during a conversation. However, it is best not to wink excessively. If she says or does something she might view as embarrassing, you can give out a wink as a way of sharing a little moment for just the two of you.

4) Be creative in introducing yourself
It is important to seduce her mind first. Using the right words would get in her head and have her thinking about you. Also, make her feel comfortable as you talk to her. Women like to talk so establishing a rapport with her is not as hard as it might seem. Just remember to think of the right words before saying it and be sincere in your conversations.

5) Eye contact
Looking (not staring) at her longer than normal would provide the right message that you are interested to her. Remember to keep your look on her face, glancing on other body parts for a few minutes every once in a while.

6) Complement her
Open conversations with her by complementing. However, be careful on what you're complementing. On your first meeting, it is best to focus your praises on her face and not on her body (even if she looks hot).

7) Check her body language
Most men fail to realize the importance of body language. Women tend to make certain body movements—and they are usually unaware of this—indicating whether or not they like the man whom they are talking to. For instance, combing her hair around the ear using her fingertips is a good sign that she likes you. Other notable movements include eye contact, trying to heighten or lower her voice just to match yours, and if she is leaning closer. However, do not consider one movement as the overall impression. If she crosses her arms, it could either mean she is being defensive at meeting new people or being uncomfortable towards you.

8) Humor her
Having a good laugh provides a healthy conversation between you and her. She creates a positive impression of you, which is vital if you want to establish a relationship with her. However, remember that sense of humor can be relative. What can be funny to you can be horrible for her. Try to tell her a joke that got you laughing and see if she reacts positively.

9) Keep the positive
Maintain the positive topics that you use in the conversation. Remember that talking to her should be fun and leave the intelligent exchange to the philosophers. Avoid topics that usually lead to dispute such as religion, politics, past relationships, rants, and other negative discussions.

10) Talk a little more, but not about yourself
One objective to flirting a woman is to know more about her. However, keep yourself a mystery as much as possible. Not talking too much about yourself would make women longing to know about you more.

11) Touch lightly
You can touch your prospect without harassing the girl. This can be as simple as placing your hand lightly on her hand for a moment, or touching her back for a moment as you walk to a table to sit down. Touching is actually a good indicator to know if the girl is interested to you: if she pulls away, then she could either be not interested or just not wanting to go on a deeper level yet.

12) Make decisions quickly
Taking your time choosing the perfect coffee blend or looking at the restaurant menu does not give a good signal to the woman. By making decisions quickly and firmly, you are proving to her that you know what you want.

13) Be patient
Take things slowly. If she doesn't want to be touched on your first date, then don't force it. If she is the aggressive type, try resisting her. Either way, she would be intrigued more about you.

14) Do the “goodbye compliment”
If you are really shy to approach a girl, you could simply go near her before you leave and say something like, “Hi, I have to go now, but before I did, I really wanted to let you know that you have a really great smile, and I noticed that. I wish I had more time to spend with you, but I have to go.” After doing your “goodbye compliment,” leave as soon as possible even if the girl wants you to stay some more. This allows you to build your confidence in approaching women without having to take the risk of rejection. If the girl seems interested to you, ask for her phone number.

15) Know when to stop
Remember to stop flirting while it is still fun. Flirting too often during a conversation may make you appear as cheesy. If you stop flirting on a high point, your new friend may feel good when thinking of you, and want to see you again.

Online Dating Tip

2007-07-30T14:03:00.000+02:00

Creating your Online Dating Profile

Before writing your profile, ask yourself, “What is unique about me? What makes me special?” Too many people resort to writing platitudes, such as “I like to have fun.” Or “My friends are important to me.” Well who doesn’t like to have fun? If your friends aren’t important to you, then they are not really friends, are they? In other words, inform readers about what makes you unique. Do you like eating Twizzlers while watching science fiction late at night? If so, write about it! Not only will you stand out, but you’ll gain a better chance of attracting someone who either shares or appreciates your interests.

Three Tips to Build a Better Online Dating Profile

2007-07-26T13:08:00.000+02:00

The competition for attention on online dating services is intense. So intense, in fact, that some people resort to lying or posting outdated photos to try and attract that next date. It's vital that you are honest in your profile and through your photos so that you don't meet (or interact) with others under false pretenses.

So then what are some important things you can do to build a better profile? Here are three specific profile tips you can use to improve your profile right now.

1) Avoid Negativity

Have you ever gone out on a first date where the person you were with complained about his/her work, ex, etc? Such negative talk is a major turnoff. Likewise, negativity is a major turnoff in your profile. Being positive is like a magnet. Being negative is like wearing a skunk aroma. Here's how one person actually began her profile:

"To be quite honest, I have been putting this off as long as possible. I have friends who use Match and have had some terrible dates."

This begs to ask, "what are you doing here?" Now contrast that to this profile introduction:

"I've heard online dating is a great way to meet awesome people and that's why I want to meet you."

Which one of these profile intros is more attractive? The one who wants to date "losers" or the one that wants to date "winners"? Psychologically everyone wants to be a winner. Therefore in your profile, avoid anything negative like the plague. Be positive.

If you have anything negative in your profile ("I hate country music," "the last guy I dated was a liar and cheater," "I'm sick of being alone," "I'm sick of the bar scene," etc.) then go edit it out immediately and replace it with something positive ("I love independent music and artists, like..."). Always be positive; not just in your profile, but also in life.

2) Go From Typical to Unique

Read this profile and tell me if you recognize it:

"I am a fun person who loves movies and music. I like walks on the beach, good conversation, and dining out. I'm looking for someone who is fun and can make me laugh."

Unfortunately, the above describes most profiles - typical and non-informative. Beef up your profile to be more descriptive and unique. Instead of "I like movies," say "my favorite movie is ____ because _______" or use a movie character to describe you. "I'm a lot like _____ in ______ because _______."

Use clever words that are descriptive. Instead of saying "on hot days I like to go to the ocean or on a hike," say, "on a sizzling day my adventurous side leads me to traversing the ocean on a sailboat or discovering a new waterfall that I can cool off under."

Instead of "I like to discover new things," say, "I'm a lot like Indiana Jones in that I love exploring the mysteries of life, while educating my mind to appreciate new things."

Strive to make your profile unordinary by spicing it up sentence by sentence. Be descriptive, unique, and fun!

3) Filter Out Unwanteds

Your profile isn't about getting responses. It is about getting responses from the type of person you are attracted to. Therefore, use descriptions to help narrow your focus to what you want so that you get responses from who you're looking for.

Instead of "I'm looking for someone fun and humorous," say, "I'm looking for a lighthearted man between the ages of 24 and 29 who enjoys the humorous side of life. If you are clean-shaven and can hold a conversation during a 150 mile car journey, then we may be a match. Email me."

In the above example, you created three filters - an age filter (24 and 29), and appearance filter (clean-shaven) and a communication filter (good-communicator). And you did it without offending. But you also created a response filter ("...we may be a match. Email me.") You've helped tell the person what the next step is if they meet your criteria. You've created a call to action, which will help direct interested parties to email you versus waiting.

By Joe Tracy Publisher of Online Dating Magazine

Choosing the right online dating service

2007-07-24T15:00:00.000+02:00

With hundreds of online dating services, narrowing the choice down can be a difficult task. The important thing is to always read the Privacy Policy, About Us page, and the FAQ page. Each of these will give you a good look into the philosophy of that service, helping make the decision easier.

The information provided below is reputable and the sites have worked hard to make each member’s experience a positive one. Although there are hundreds of other options, these are considered the top choices, being great sites for bringing people together, whether as new friends, or in a romantic aspect.

Top Dating Sites

* Match.com - Probably the most widely used personals site.
* Meetic - Another popular site with great functionality.
* MillionaireMatch - A popular site for finding wealthy soulmates

Also, there are many review and comparison sites out there, just like this one. Each of these online dating services has amazing features and hundreds of singles all looking for the same thing – a connection. Just remember that the key to developing a good, healthy relationship at any level is honesty. You want to present yourself as someone with integrity who is interested in learning about other people.

If you find that you are not getting very many responses to your profile, look at other people of your gender and age to see what they are writing about so you can change your profile to be more appealing. Be sure to include your photos and provide interesting information about yourself without giving out personal information that would compromise your safety. Before you know it, you will be talking to new people and maybe making your own love connection.

Tips for finding that special someone online

2007-07-24T14:55:00.000+02:00

The online dating services of today have changed dramatically over the years where now, you will find a service for every situation imaginable. For example, online dating sites of today feature romantic opportunities for people of all ages, financial status, religion, ethnic groups, and geographic locations.

The problem that most singles deal with is not having access to other singles. After all, you can only visit so many bars, restaurants, and coffee houses in hopes of meeting that someone special. For this reason, online dating is a phenomenal solution that provides access to people all across the globe easily, efficiently, conveniently, and affordably!

The technology of today allows you all kinds of options to ensure your dating experience is fun and successful. If you are ready to step up and give online dating a chance, the following tips will help you get started.

1. Location

If you are not in a position of moving, you want most of the online dating services to provide you access to people in your area. While some people can move to a new geographical area, most cannot or will not. Keep in mind that most of the major online dating services feature the option of searching for people where you live while still providing the opportunity for other people in different cities, states, or countries to view your profile, and vice versa.

2. First Impressions

If you were going out to a bar or restaurant in anticipation of meeting someone, you would dress nice, have your hair just right, and smell great, all as a way of making a first impression. Although you would not make these same preparations for online dating, you do need to make a positive impression. Start with your profile. Be honest, witty, and always check your spelling and grammar. Make sure your profile does not ramble on about "stuff" but provides the right type of information to intrigue. The same is true for e-mail communication. Keep the conversation light and fun, providing just enough of the right information to want the person to come back for more.

3. Photographs

Make sure you post photographs with your profile and choose several that show your fun side. The key is to make the person on the other side of the computer smile!

4. Flirt

Can you flirt online? Absolutely you can. In fact, many online dating services provide you with special tools specifically for flirting. You can wink at someone, blow kisses, and send special messages.

5. Options

Keep your options open. For instance, you may receive an e-mail from someone that does not capture your attention right away. However, before you discount that individual, take a minute to read the profile. After all, if it is not a love connection, this person might make an excellent friend.

Good luck finding that special someone online...

Facebook as a dating tool

2007-07-21T21:02:00.000+02:00

Finding Facebook friends can be a little intimidating if you are new to the massive social network. There are so many different ways to find people with common interests, and possibly even people to date, that it is certainly worth it to take the time to seek out some good quality Facebook friends.

Facebook is a great place to make friends, but as with any online situation, you need to be careful about what you say and how much information you give out. Everyone in your networks, not just friends, can view your profile, which may include a lot of personal information you don't want to make public. Make sure you review the security settings on your account and block access to anyone who you don't want to be able to see your information.

What is Facebook?

For those who don't know about Facebook already, it is a huge online social networking website. Originally designed for people in college to share information and meet people in the offline world, it has now expanded to include networks of high schools, employers, geographical locations, and more.

Facebook helps people share information and photos in a public setting closed off to people who are not in your particular group, that is, your Facebook friends. Facebook has more than 14 million users and more than 40,000 networks. It is one of the top 10 most visited sites and the number one photo sharing site, according to comScore.

Getting Started with Facebook

Facebook is similar to MySpace in the way it is set up. You'll have a personal page with a blog-like section where you can add information as often as you like. There is room for your name, location, school and work history, birthday, and relationship status.

You can also note whether you are looking for a relationship or just want to make friends on the site. This is a great way to tag your site and let all your Facebook friends know that you're on the lookout for someone special.

The site allows you to post photos, videos and articles, and a list of your Facebook friends will also appear on your site. When you log in you can see the activity of your friends, new messages, friend requests, and more.

Registration is simple, requiring a little basic information to place you in the proper communities. After confirming your registration, you can add yourself to the communities that interest you, update your profile, and search for friends.

Finding Facebook Friends

One interesting function of Facebook is the ability to enter your e-mail address (Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo, AOL or MSN) with your password and Facebook will look for the e-mail addresses in your address books to see if any of those people are in Facebook already.

You can also search for keywords such as your hometown, school, other places you have lived, or anything else you want.

Once you have joined a few networks, such as the one for your state, your hometown, your college or employer, for example, you can browse or search those particular people to find more prospects you would like to have as Facebook Friends.

Look at profiles randomly or search by gender, age, relationship status, what the person is interested in or looking for in political views. You can also search by residence, school status, graduation year, and religious views.

It's pretty easy to narrow down the list of hundreds or thousands of contacts to those you're really interested in. Click on a person's name for a more detailed profile and to see their pictures, posts, and friends. You can send people messages or add them to your friends list here as well.

The other person must agree to be your friend in order to be listed as your friend, but most people on Facebook are pretty friendly and interested in increasing their numbers of friends.

Using Facebook for Dating

Facebook, like MySpace and Craig's List was not originally designed as a dating site, but that doesn't mean you can't use it as such. Spend time building up your profile and looking for people with common interests. Ask them to be your friend first, and then get to know them through their blog postings, photo albums, and the comments they leave on yours and other people's sites.

As time goes by you'll probably want to send private messages or off-Facebook e-mails to the person you are interested in. Arrange a meeting in a neutral location (in public) and have fun getting to know each other in the real world.

Facebook is decidedly young in it’s demographics, which is fine if you're young, too, but it might not be that useful to people who are older than probably 35. Because the site started with and grew from college students, that age group represents the majority of people on Facebook. If you're looking for friends or maybe more in that age group, Facebook is a great place to find them.

Welcome to Dating For The Masses

2007-07-19T14:06:00.000+02:00

Welcome to Dating For The Masses.

This blog is dedicated to online dating and will offer hints, tips and help for you to be successful in the online dating scene.

We will also review online dating sites, offer links to new services and explore the world of social networking site that will relevant for you whether you are based in Cape Town, London, Tokyo or New York...